Cynister

24

Jessi pov

I walked downstairs and looked in the microwave and indeed it was a plate in there she had cooked eggs, bacon, French toast, and oatmeal it looked delicious I poured me a glass of orange juice
and sat at the bar and began eating. Cyn came in and grabbed her plate and sat far away from me.....hum? What's up with her?..........

Cyn pov

See what happens when you trust people what was she doing on her phone that she didn't want you to know about? Probably planning to kill your dumb ass. I told you once before no one cares about you and they never will

I shouldn't listen to the voice inside my head but deep inside I knew that it was right I'm incapable of being or receiving love

"Cyn....you ok?" Jessi asked

"Yea I'm fine why?" I lied

"You were just mumbling to yourself and you seem distant what happened to the happy jittery cyn from yesterday?" She came and sat by me stroking my cheek causing me to move further away from her

"Cyn come on babe....tell me what your thinking" I just looked at her and got up to put my plate in the microwave I had completely lost my appetite

"Come on cyn you and I both know you need to express your thoughts for the benefit of yourself and your future" she said wrapping her arms around my waist from behind resting her chin in the crook of my neck

"Can we just go" I said softly I was honestly just ready to get out the house and ready to see my baby and I really didn't want to be bothered with her. I slowly feel myself slipping off into its regular unhappy state, like I said before happiness is not for me my mind simply won't except it.
.........

Jessi pov

I just went on ahead and put my plate into the sink and we headed out. I already knew why she was acting this way but I'm not hiding anything. I just want her to be happy and be able to live and be happy without the constant thought in the back of her mind that someone is going to hurt her. It has been just a few weeks since the night I had seen her laid out near her death which really scared the shit outta me it taught me multiple things, one is to never take what you have for granted because most couldn't even get that. Though its only been some weeks it feels like forever with cyn I care for her deeply....I actually....love her. I've fallen in love with her, cyn's beautiful inside and out I see it its not her fault that she acts the way she does, its never the victims fault. She's broken, cracked, unpolished, everything a normal person might not want but me....I'm different I want the challenge all her flaws attracts her to me. But of course she just told me about her past which I know for a fact was a big push for her and me telling her I'm in love with her is like pushing her off a cliff that she's finally climbed after so many years of trying. I will just show her everyday that she's worth someone's time and to help her believe that she is. No matter the cost.

"We're here" I sigh breaking away from my thoughts cutting the ignition

"Cyn look at me" I grabbed her face and turned her towards me taking in the breath taking view

"Your perfect. No matter what the other side of you says or any other person. I know a lot is bothering you but I promise we will talk about it" I said watching her facial expression, her eyes showed depression as a single tear fell, my eyes slowly followed the tear fall into the corner of her lips,.....I leaned in and kissed it away

"I'm here remember, don't let your thoughts get to you. Let's go see your baby and enjoy this for the time being"
........

I know I said drama would pop off this chapter but I split it so I could give y'all two updates so please wait next chapter is in the making

Do y'all think Jessi really loves her like she claims?

Whats really bothering cyn?

Kisses
Goddezz....