My Name is Three

My Name is Three (Chapter 21)

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"He looked... sort of... annoyed... and shocked, still..."

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"And... sad..."

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"So I said back to him.... I was smiling, I remember, I was happy... I said,

"What's it look like I'm doing?"

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"I tried to kiss him again, but he sort of caught my wrists in his hands to hold me back. Gently, but still holding me back."

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"I remember him saying,

"No, Three, I'm being serious. You just... why?"

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"I said back to him... I sort of sat back, so he'd let go of my wrists, and I said,

"Because I like you. Because we're friends -"

He laughed when I said that, but... in a.. an ironic sort of way - and I just ignored him and carried on talking:

"Because we're friends, and I'm attracted to you, and we... we've been through the same kind of thing. We're close together. We've been through similar stuff."

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"And Eight... He sort of shook his head, and he said,

"Three, please think. I mean... I like you too, but-"

I said, "so what's the problem, then?" I remember realising that I was shouting at him.

And he said back to me... calmly...

"Its because we've been through the same kind of problems that... that I can't... that we shouldn't... for Christ's sake, Three, it's because of me that your parents are dead!"

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"I... I sort of... I think I said..."

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"Now, in here, I feel so guilty about what I said next..."

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"I said..."

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"I said... I said,

"I don't care. I don't care about them, Eight. You didn't kill them personally, did you?"

... I knew he hadn't. I remember, though... he said... he was yelling, too, by now... he said,

"What difference does that make? You don't start kissing someone who's the leader of a group of people who burned your mum and dad alive!"

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"I... I just moved a bit closer to him... he sort of... flinched away..."

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"I said to him,

"Eight. Why did the D.E.M. kidnap me, on the day my mum and dad died? If they'd killed them, why did they leave me alive?"

Eight... he sort of sighed... and he said,

"Because I wasn't there, I think. If I'd been there, I think they would've killed you when they found you. I just sort of... people are scared of me. And they're scared of what I'll get like if they do something I wouldn't want them to. I was going to have them kill you when they got you to that warehouse where we were hiding. But I saw you... and I didn't want you to die. At least, I didn't want to see you die. I could have coped if they'd killed you and I hadn't been there to see it. But I saw you... and I thought... "I want you to live".

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He carried on,

"That's why I was so... tempermental with you all the time. You know, telling Twelve to kill you, shining the kreiglight in your eyes... and then suddenly cleaning Zero's blood away from your face, and talking to you, and then ignoring you a few days after that, then talking to you again. Because... I didn't like you. I didn't like you, because I cared about you. And I hate caring about people. I'd rather not give a shit about anyone. That way, it makes no difference to me when they get killed. It doesn't make me want to die when they get killed. It shouldn't, anyway. Never works."

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"I said back to him... there was a pause, and then I said to him...

"I hated you. You know that. But... I didn't want you to die. I wanted you to stay alive. I didn't know why, at the time, but... well, I suppose it's obvious, now.""

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"I smiled at him again, and said,

"See? Told you we were the same.""

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"I'd edged closer to where he was sitting, and then I... sort of... put my arms around him. That time, he didn't flinch away."

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"Eight sort of said,

"Three, I... OK, I'm sorry. I don't know what I want. I don't know."

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"I moved my face as close to his as I could, and smiled as widely as I could, and I said,

"You don't want to care about me? Well, let's see if I can change your mind."

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"And after I said that, I kissed him again, and again, and you can probably imagine where it went from there."

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It is BLOODY DIFFICULT to write a romantic scene in which only one person is actually in the present tense.