Right Next To Me

Chapter 14 At the White Luncheon

“You know how Dylan felt about you before?” He asked, studying my face.

I furrowed my brow. “I know how we felt about each other.” I told him.

Derek chuckled. “Yeah. Puppy love.” He said and nodded. “When I said not getting in touch with Dylan was probably for the better, it does not mean I do not like you getting in touch with my brother. I meant it was for the better because both of you got to experience being in a relationship with other people. “

“Your bond with Dylan was pretty intense back then. When you didn’t contact him, we let it be. We thought it is best to keep you apart to let both of you mature before getting into a real relationship, if you are still up for it in the future.” He continued.

I hope I am succeeding in giving him my poker face because I really want to cry now. I feel like crying when my emotions get mixed up. I feel guilt, sadness, anger and frustration at the same time.

Derek held my chin up. “Are you OK?” He asked. I have not reacted much to what he said but my poker face is apparently not working. I did not know what to think.

 “I’m OK.” I managed to say. “I’m just…I don’t know what to say.” I covered my face with both hands.

Derek held my wrists and tried to pry my hands away from my face. “Hey, don’t feel bad.” He said and pulled me in an embrace. He kissed the top of my head.

I pulled slightly away from him, glancing up. “I am sorry, Derek, for not calling. Do you hate me for not keeping in touch?” I asked.

He shook his head, “I don’t.”

“Does Dylan hate me?” I asked again almost choking from swallowing back my tears. I can’t take it if Dylan hates me. At the lake house, he didn’t show me any indication that he did.

Guilt and sadness for being insensitive towards my family and friends is gnawing on me. How hard was it really to pick up the phone and say ‘Hi’ to everyone? I should have kept in touch with my Aunt Lily’s family especially Dylan. Dylan was closest to me before and I let him down. I left him without saying goodbye like he meant nothing to me. But Dylan is everything to me. I know that now.

 Derek touched my face, “I don’t think he could.” I blinked back my tears. Derek kissed my forehead. “…but I don’t really know what is going on in his head.”

“Hey, love birds!” I heard someone say and I almost jumped in surprise. Derek still had his arms around me and kept me steady.

“Henrik!” Derek said and nodded towards Henrik, the polo player I met previously.

“Can’t get enough of each other huh.” Henrik teased. “The pillar can’t hide you. Get a room O’Connor.” Then he burst out laughing.

I felt myself blush. I don’t like what Henrik was insinuating.  Derek shook his head and chuckled. “We’ll remember that next time.” I looked at him with questioning eyes. Derek looked back at me and I knew. I need to play along that I am with him so that Henrik and the other guys would leave me alone.

The other polo players approached us. They complimented me again after obviously checking me out. Didn’t these men know I am only seventeen? They shouldn’t bother with me at all, I thought.

We exchanged pleasantries and chatted about horses and polo and equestrian. Henrik was looking at the deep V neckline of my dress the whole time he was chatting with Derek. I felt uncomfortable so I hid behind Derek pretending to look around for people I might know. I was looking for Dylan but I have not seen him at all.

A young man with darker hair than Dylan’s bounded up to where I was standing. This can’t be Dylan, I thought. My brows are furrowed unable to recognize him at first.