The Gangleader and Me(ON HOLD)

•Chapter 8•

"Of course I know that. She's been my number 1 best friend since the diaper ages. My grandma was a very close friend to her mom. My grandma used to babysit her twin brothers Pablo and Pedro, her other brother Julio, and when Jenny and I were born, my grandma took care of us. Mostly she took care of Jenny because my brother Jonathan raised Curly and I when Jonathan was 13. He taught me some stuff I know. He taught me to curse, flip someone off, and the most important thing ever. He taught me how to disguise my emotions with my poker face. Nobody really knows how I feel. The only people who DO know is, Jenny, Luke, Sammy, Nathan, Curly, Cindy, Samantha, and Tiffany. And sometimes I'm just too good at hiding that they don't even know what I'm thinking or feeling." I explained.

"What about Jonathan? If he taught you, how doesn't he know how you feel?" I smiled a sad smile. "Because I lost him. I lost my brother. I mean, yeah we talk occasionally, but not like a brother and sister should be. We weren't always like this. I remember we used to be so close, joined at the hip. I honestly looked up to my brother. He was my role model, my hero, but at one point he just stopped being those things and finally became a stranger to me. Someone I don't recognize. He moved out, got married with a woman who had 3 boys, then they made a girl which is his only real kid. I don't know, we were still close even after that, but the older I got, the older those kids got, the more my brother and I drifted away from each other. I went from sleeping over his house almost everyday, to only the weekends, to every other weekend, to not sleeping over at all but going over multiple times, to going over maybe 2 times a week, to going over maybe once every month, to only seeing him on holidays like Christmas, birthdays, maybe Halloween. We had the tightest brother/sister relationship and I guess over time, he started loving his family more than his baby sister, and just decided to forget his baby sister. I guess he thought I didn't need him, but if I'm going to be honest with you, the last thing I wanted him to do was leave me, but that's how life is right? The ones who hurt you deepest aren't the enemies in front of you with a sword, but it's the people who stand beside you rooting you on, with a knife behind their backs."

"Ashley that's not true." Jordan said. I smiled, "Jordan, the people who hurt you MOST are the ones standing by you rooting for you, with a knife behind their backs. I'm not saying that the people you care about are pure evil, I'm just saying, them hurting you, it hurts way more." I explained to him. He wouldn't know what true pain is. He never experienced it. Not that I know of, but from the fact that he doesn't understand it, it means he just hasn't gone through hell. I've gone through hell more than I can count. And each time I came back, I came back with more wounds, but so much stronger. "And your parents?" he asks. "Let's say, they aren't the definition of parents." "What's that supposed to mean?" Before I can blow off his question, our waitress came with our delicious food. I licked my lips at the sight of my lasagna. My mouth watered instantly when the amazing scent of the steaming lasagna hit my nose, making me inhale deeply. "That...smells...soooo... good!" I said. "That's why this restaurant is so popular. Everything they make here is handmade and organic. They grow their own fruits and vegetables. They hand make their dough, and everything else." Jordan explained to me.

Jennifer our waitress set our food on the table and Jordan and I immediately dug in. The second the lasagna touched my tongue, I moaned in pleasure. "I think I just had 10 mouth orgasms with just one bite..." I said and Jordan just flat out laughed. "Glad I took you here." I nodded quickly, agreeing with him 100%. He was enjoying his Mushroom Risotto. "Want to try some?" He asked me. I pondered over it since I never really tried mushrooms. "Trust me, it's amazing." It felt like a semi-truck had hit me so hard, knocking the wind out of me. Those two little words. Trust me. He might not take too much notice but to me trust is the worst thing ever. Trust is something I can hardly do. Only a few people has earned that trust, they proved to me they deserved it but Jordan said it like nothing. He knows some things about my life, but he doesn't know how dark it really is. I mentally snapped out of it and covered it up with a smile. "Sure." I went to grab his fork after he collected some of the risotto and mushrooms but he moved his hand away.