An Abundance of Angst. [x readers]

零 | jyushimatsu

    I sat alone in my shared room. My brothers watching me from afar, near the door frame. My face mixed with sadness and anger.

                                   ☁︎

"Jyushi~" [Name] called out sweetly,"I still can't understand why you want our relationship to be a secret" You pouted as you held onto me tightly as if I was going to leave you any day, anywhere, anytime.
Any moment.

I chuckled at you, showing off my infamous smile. "I just don't want you to get hurt. I told you how my brothers would act" I spoke grinning at my sweet girlfriend.

   I knew my brothers would catch on with my repeating motions and see the way I would stare at my phone-no, even at my phone. I mean If they really cared.

But if they knew. Once they find out. They would hurt me and try to steal you away from me. Even if I was a sibling of theirs- a relative.

         You kept that smiling on your face, even if it did hurt her in the inside," You say that all the time" you joked punching me lightly. "But I understand" You smiled in which I returned back

  ☁︎

I cried painfully out loud. Memories keep flooding towards me. They were like daggers aiming at the target sufficiently. Guilt rising up in me as my salty tears touched my yellow sweater damping it.

☁︎

"Jyushimatsu!! Wanna go out and eat Ice cream" You yelled out, making it very tempting but no. "It'll be my treat!!"

I winked at you and stuck my tongue out,"I'm sorry babe, but I'm busy today. Maybe tomorrow?" I asked.

Your smile faltered a bit,"oh...okay.." you bit the inside of your cheek. "Is something wrong?"

I shook my head as in 'no' and quickly blew you a kiss. I sighed as I see your form awkwardly walking away.

   ☁︎

I started hyperventilating to the point my brothers had to hold me close, telling me comforting words such as: "it's okay." " I'm sorry." "She's a bitch."

Which was lie because they never met you and It wasn't even your fault.

You gave me everything.
Love, a shoulder to lay on, a lap to sit my head on and stare at your beautiful [eye color] orbs, and someone whom I can complain to. Actually no- You were my everything. A friend, companion, girlfriend and most importantly: The love of my life.
     ☁︎

I sat patiently at the two seating table. I fixed my sweater nicely to look fine for the lovely lady I am hanging out with.

My goofy eyes lit up when I saw her. Just the person I wanted to see:

Her hair was brown and in a really lose braid. She had dark big caramel eyes. And a light scarlet blasted on her cheeks.

"H-hi" she stuttered at me, firing up a conversation. We were sitting at our table for hours. I made jokes, I talked about happy times before and even mention my brothers. I just failed to claim that I have a girlfriend.

When it was her turn to talk, I felt my phone vibrate but I ignored it and quietly switched it on silent. The girl was on the verge of crying and somehow she whimpered out to the point where she looked like she had wanted to die. Feeling remorse, I place my hands one her reassuring.

Her watery orbs stared at mines, her rosy cheeks spread through out her entire face. And in return my face flushed.

   ☁︎

    I should have known or have been aware that any moment my girlfriend would have came at that same place at the very same day.

          My eyes became tired and I can tell my brothers were completely comfortable with their position. So I didn't want to disturb them. Staying in the same spot I have been for the last few hours.   I....miss... her...

                                    ☁︎

          "Jyu-jyushi..?" Your familiar voice Proposed.  My eyes widen when I saw you . Sure, I wasn't expecting you to see me outside of my home. But even if I was. I am positive that you wouldn't want me with some other girl and see me holding hand with them.

           You were out with your friends, trying to get over the fact that your boyfriend, me,  has been. Mmm.. I wouldn't say neglect but more like "yes I see you but I'm busy today".

  But when you saw the dark raven hair with the two cute and small strands popping out. It made you quite confused.

'I thought he said he was busy'  you thought.

Shrugging it off, you went towards my way. You almost choke on your Popsicle when you saw not only me, but another women. What's worse. We were holding hands and blushing.

        I quickly let go of the girls hand-the girl left after that-and immediately stood up straight.

  "[N-name]" I stuttered, stumbling over my words. "I am not cheating on you.-" I felt your heart break at my use of the word 'cheating'
"-this is-this is just a-a mis-misunderstanding-" frantically waving my arms around for help.

        Tears brimmed out at the edge of your eyes. Threatening to stream down.
        "N-no. [Name]. I told you it's not what it looks like. Please let me explain."

      You shook your head, your lips tremendously trembling. "No, I understand." And with that you left me. Alone, standing by myself, in the outside area of a cafe.

                                     ☁︎

Communication with you had stopped since then, even with all of my pleads. You broke it off with me. I could tell you didn't want too, but you did.

Shaking my head roughly. I coughed strain-fully. Pushing my brothers away from me [harshly/lightly]. Which they stared at me in shock because of my actions. But I want you back.

I don't need anyone near me
But you.

☁︎

☀︎Note: I hope you loved this Jyushimatsu angst. There isn't much out there. So I decided I make one. Request are open so~ yea..☀︎