Don't Let Go ✔ (Editing)

32 - Photos

32

For the entire week I was sort of praying for Friday to come quickly, but now I just don't care. It's Wednesday and I could care less. The good thing is that Cody and I talk over phone calls and stuff, so I guess that's better than not seeing him at all. Last night however, was probably the best. I didn't send anything back because it'll be like cheating on Ashton, right? Plus, it's not wrong to look at the many pics he sent.

I didn't actually want to go to the hospital today because I'm avoiding my mom. This morning, I woke up really late after she was gone so i won't have to see her. Yes, I'm holding a grudge. She's definitely in the wrong though. She chose her boyfriend over me, then she told me I'm not allowed to meet Cody. How does she expect me to like her?

But I want to see Ashton, so I have to come here. I don't mind it though, because I'm always happy to see him. I could be walking to hell to meet him and I'd still be smiling. He's just completely perfect to me and I'd never do anything to hurt him. I slyly moved around the hospital until I finally slid into Ashton's room. My sudden appearance shocked him and I smiled at how adorable he looked. 

"What the hell are you doing?" he shook his head as he asked. I laughed softly at his reaction. His eyes are bulged slightly and his heart is beating quickly and he just has that 'shocked' look. "I'm hiding from my mom."

"Why?"

"It's nothing important," i shrug. I'm not stupid to actually tell him the reason - well the Cody part about it. For the rest, I just don't want to spend my afternoon talking about Chris. Ashton nodded his head at my response while I just continued to smile at him. He still looked a bit shook. I walk to him and peck his lips, which seems to be a habit now. I can't enter this room without kissing him - even if it's just a small peck.

"Guess what I have!" I say a bit loudly, and filled with excitement. Ashton grinned at me and he nodded his head which was a silent way of telling me to go on. "A fruit-cup!"

"What?" he sized down and stared at me with furrowed eyebrows.

"A fruit-cup, made by me. I'm practically a chef," I say and pass him the mixed fruit protected by a plastic bowl in a zip-lock bag. Ashton stared down at it then back at me. "You hyped me up for a cup of fruit?"

"A pretty damn good cup of fruit. Just eat it - it'll make you feel so much better about life, because I'm a chef," I say to him. I take my small home-made fruit-bowl and opened it. No one can really go wrong with stuff like this, but I think my chef skills are exquisite.

"Have a piece of fruit, Ashton. It's really good," I offer a piece of apple on a fork to him. He flashed me a smile before shaking his head, declining my delicious fruit. I shrugged, "Your loss."

"Damn," he sarcastically said. I rolled my eyes at him and continued my fruit. This is just like a pre-snack before I get down and dirty with school work. He probably thinks I'm so boring because i mostly do homework, but it's all society's fault. Apparently you must get an education before you go operating on people's children. I've seen it many times (on television) I don't really need to know all this theory.

As I continued, Ashton picked up my phone - which I was cool with because I don't really have anything to hide. I don't even have a password; gosh, my life is so sad. The only person I'd create a password for however, is my mother. She's a lurker and if she's in, she won't be coming out any time soon. I don't need her doing that with my phone.

The flash of my phone camera's light has me suddenly snapping out of my thoughts and staring at Ashton with a confused expression. "Did you just take a picture of me while I was eating?"

"No..." he answers, trying to sound innocent. 

"Oh god, no. I look horrible, don't I?" I asked him. He laughed while staring at the phone, which made me instantly grab it out of his hands and stare intently at the picture. I do look terrible. In fact, terrible is a major understatement. I immediately delete the picture after seeing how absolutely horrid I looked. I faced the camera to him and quickly took a picture of him as some type of revenge.

But my 'revenge' was a complete fail because he looked too good in that stupid pic. I decided to take another, just to see if he'll look as good in the second one also - he did. Ashton then began to laugh, and I took a pic of that too. I felt like such a great photographer... or maybe the model is just perfect.

"You look horrible in all," I lie to him.

He scoffed, "please." He grabbed the phone from me to look at the pictures. A smile printed on my cheeks as he began to laugh at himself. I don't think he looks bad. He actually looks really good. I turn away from him to put down my bowl then get some of my books to start. I decided to slide down to the ground, at the side of the bed, as I feel more comfortable that way.

I started and actually encountered few problems... in like the first two, so I continued- hoping they all will be that easy. 

"Ethan...?" Ashton called, but then his voice trailed off. I furrowed my eyebrows and turned around, only to find one of Cody's dick pics staring back at me. I instantly grab the phone from him and turn it off. "What the fuck?" he asks.

"Uh..." i don't even have words right now. I seriously don't know what to say. There is no way in hell I can tell him they were from Cody because that would definitely lead to chaos, which would mostly affect me because I feel like I like him more than he likes me (but then again, I feel like that about everyone). 

"Listen, it wasn't my fault okay," I say awkwardly.

"So, this guy just decided to send you these?" he asks me.

"Come on, it's nothing. I barely even watched them..." I mutter. Ashton stared at me with wide eyes and I just bit my bottom lip. "Ethan, what are you really doing, man? You made me fall for you, then you do this shit."

"I didn't do anything!" I argue, "He sent me the pics, Ashton, believe me. I barely even watched them, I didn't ask for them, and I didn't reply to them." I stared into his eyes, praying he believes me. I mean, I watched the pictures and I fucking loved them, but that's not really considered cheating, is it? I don't really intend to do these things.

"You're so fucked up," he says, "I can't-"

"No!" I stop him, "Yes, you can. You can. We can. It was just a picture, Ashton."

"Yeah, but it's obvious you still love him," he says simmering down a bit.

"C-Cody and I are just friends," I tell him, even though he's absolutely right. But I can't say that out loud. I would hate for someone to tell me that.

He chuckled, "I didn't even have to say his name..."

Fuck.

"Okay, so what?" I asked, "He's gone and it doesn't even matter to me - what matters is you."

"Ethan, that's really messed up," he says to me. I bite my bottom lip, hoping he's not angry. "I'm sorry," I finally say to him then looked away. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing with my life, but I don't want to hurt anyone. I really like Ashton (like a whole fucking lot), but Cody practically has my heart. And I don't know what to do about that. 

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