the deluded ones [#2]

human

july 16th, 2017

and, for a second time, here i am again, awake after falling asleep as i asked god, "why?"

not much time has passed. an hour? a half hour? what time even is it?

i cannot see, but i'm dizzy again. i want to cry again, why do i want to cry again?

god, why does it have hurt? why did you do this? am i to suffer every time from here on out after i get over one person and start living my life's route?

what did i do? what have i done? why does this keep happening? why didn't i just say no from the start? why did i have to figure out if i liked you or not? why did i have to do any of this? why did i think i ever had a chance?

why did you bring me into his life? god, why did you bring him into my life? what was your purpose? what were you trying to prove, god?

what was it? why don't i know?

why... why... why...?