the deluded ones [#2]

that

july 1st, 2017

pitter-patter,
pitter-patter,
the rain falls down.

pitter-patter,
pitter-patter,
where is it going now?

pitter-patter,
pitter-patter,
so faint, so light,
the weather,
it has been tricking me for some time.

a thunderstorm was what had been called for,
but only gentle rumbles are heard
before everything fades away.

the rain rushes by harshly
but returns to soft taps against the window pane.

and it leaves me to wonder
if this is god's sign to tell me
that i have no reason to await the call
of nature's terrifying beauty.

because, with him, a thunderstorm
marked my place of moving on,
a sense of sadness that became peace.

but, with you, it's different;
you're different.
and perhaps the lack of an
intense thunderstorm does mean
something after all,
but which phrase does its absence take upon?

does it mean i have no need to move on?
am i supposed to keep you in my heart forever,
as faint as you can be
while being so real in reality?
or am i already at peace,
moved on and ready to see what cannot be seen?

i did say that i wished to move on
and that i would,
but, even so, the little things about you
still make me hold my breath
or feel a slight warmth encircling in me.

all very faint
but still a sign of reality.

there is much that is unclarified,
but perhaps i'll understand
in due time.

and perhaps,
these little feelings will fade away
in due time
as you find happiness
in many ways differing from mine.