the deluded ones [#2]

of

may 30th, 2017

your dreams are mysterious, and they make me wonder again and again what it all means. what is my purpose when i appear in these dreams? do i have a purpose at all?

is my purpose in your dreams to be mysterious because i hold so many mysteries deep in my heart? i am so unsure, but the dreams, they make me think you'll fade away sooner than i ever want you to.

i don't want you to go. i'm afraid you're going to go. i just want to stay and make you smile when you need it most, like i'm supposed to. i want you to stay and help me to smile more too.

even when you say you don't plan to go away anytime soon and that you'll always wish the best for me any day, i can't make myself believe that you won't leave. why am i incapable of believing the words that people say when they try to reassure their presence in my life? must it be so that those of the past seem to haunt and never make me forget?

but, with you, we grew so fast and became so close that i'm unsure how or why it happened so quickly. you've become so important to me within the short time you've been with me, and it scares me. it scares me because i don't know how it happened.

is this all going the way it's supposed to be? there are so many paths drawn onto the ground, but they all lead to a blank, a canvas yet to be painted by my choices. am i on the right path? are you? what will all this come to?

the future is so uncertain, but uncertainty can become beautiful, can it not? because a rainbow after a storm is uncertain, but that uncertainty can make you hope and discover something lovely. are our futures going to be beautiful like rainbows against a pale blue sky or stars against a midnight light?