Ripper (A Harry Styles fanfiction)

Chapter 20

Chapter 20 

I go through the motions of getting ready for bed - wash my face, brushing my teeth and hair - before I crawl into bed, pissed-off and aprehensive. I remember the day Elli came home with the news she was pregnant. Will was with her and she was smiling so hard my own face hurt. I never seen anyone so happy. Elli was always born for motherhood though. 

Will didn't look like Elli did, his smile was weak and forceful. He got a call in from the other room, I'd assume it was from work, so Elli and I sat at the dining room table. 

"So what's it like to be knock up?" I said, poking her belly gently. 

"Scary." She said biting her lip. "It's just ... Will has seemed so different lately. He had always wanted a family of our own, and don't get me wrong we love having you here, but now him and I are here with out own child on the way and he seems so antsy about the situation. It feels like I'm losing him." 

I felt gutted, repusled with myself. How could I have done this to my sister, who all she has done was love me and take me in. It's like she felt the touch of someone else on Will's skin. My touch. I felt like telling her right there in that moment, but I couldn't have. Not just for her sake, but the sake of her unborn child. 

"Listen Elli, whatever happens we are a family. Always will be." I give her my best smile, even if it was limp. 

"I spy a family in here." Will says, walking back into the room. 

"Hey, that's what I said." I say grinning up at Will. I looked over at Elli, but she has completely zoned out staring at the cold wooden floor. She wasn't really looking at it though. Her stare was distant, as if she was looking for something beyond the floorboards. 

"Elli?" 

"Yeah," She said, blinking at me. "I see a family too, soon to be four." It was her turn to now give us that weak smile and it was painful to look at. "I - I need to sit down." Elli trailed off. 

"But you're already sitting." I said. 

"Somewhere else ... I just ... I don't want to take any chances, maybe I should lay down." 

"Hey," Will placed his hand on her back. "Everything is going to be fine." 

"Promise?" She asked, her voice quivering a bit. 

"Promise." Will said then lightly kissed her. 

"You see." I said, like I always said when something troublesome was overcomed, though this time the trouble only had just begun. Elli was afraid. She was afraid and I saw it, but chose to ignore it. I always thought she was scared for the baby, and just giving birth in general, which never seemed pleasant to me, and in a sense she was scared. But not in the way I thought. 

It was like she knew something was going to happen between us, all of us. That something was going to break our family. Like she knew Will was being unfaithful to her, she just never thought it could be me, because we were a family and families don't do that to one another. In the course of time, something terrible did happen, she lost the baby. I remember her crying, the worse part about it was that she wasn't entirly crying over the baby, she was crying because Will wasn't there when it happened. I know this because he was with me, and that was when I knew I had gone too far, how treacherous I had really become.

I pinch my eyes shut so tightly, little white specks form on the dark sockets of my eye lids. I don't want to think about this anymore. I try to revert my mind to anything but my past. I think about this house, the murders even. That even though how sinister they were, they clouded my mind away from those memories. I even start to wish for the eerie and unusuallu  things to start happening again. I almost seem to be missing that Sarah Heinrick character. I didn't know what was happening to me, but my mind was becoming corrupted. I think back to my reflection, how pure and innocent it looks, yet it seems to not want anything to do with me either, as it seems to be delayed with my actions. Almost as if was tired of mimmicking my every move. I wouldn't blame it, I was sick of myself as well.