Hell Of A Marriage {18+}

Chapter thirty nine - Surrender

Three months later

Keenan tosses and turns on the large, but lonely bed and after three hours of trying to convince himself why he needs to sleep, he pulls himself up and reaches for his phone on the lamp stand beside his bed he picks it up and dials the motel Christel’s line.

He waits a moment and less than three seconds later, the call is picked and a feminine voice comes through at the end of the line after the first ring. “Hello, Christel motel customer service line, always opens for services. How may I help you?” The polite voice asks.

He clears his suddenly choked-up throat to ask, “Hello, I wanted to ask if room 43 is still being occupied?”

“Hold on, let me check.” The line is quiet and a minute later, the voice speaks. “Yes, sir, it is still being occupied. But our other rooms are available and of equal standard, if you would like to check in there.”

He shakes his head, knowing he already got what he needs. “No thanks, I need that one, I’ll wait for the occupant to leave.” Is his reply before hanging up the call.

He tosses his phone away and falls back into the bed. His eyes fixate on the ceiling, knowing he can’t close his eyes or dream of sleep.

He can’t, not when his heart is so far away, and he’s unable to get to her.

He knows he told Vary to take as much time as she needed to heal, but he never thought she would take this long and he never asked her to move on because that’s what he feels like she’s doing.

He blames himself for everything, and the guilt of it crushes him to the ground every minute. His decision to bring Tobi into their lives, even when Vary told him to give her time. His desperation led him into the hands of Tobi, who fed him lies about his wife and her childhood, things that were complete lies. He brought in Vary’s worse nightmare and here he is now alone without her.

Daniel would have been three months today, he probably would have been driving him and Vary crazy, wondering why he wouldn’t stop crying. He knows his life would have been happier with Daniel in it and the happiest if he could have both of them, but now it’s a nightmare because he has lost both of them.

But how can she survive three whole months without him? He’s only just hanging to a thread as it is. He can barely cope, think or do anything right and every minute of every passing day, he misses her and thinks about her.

He wonders if she thinks about him like he does her, craves him like he craves her and longing for him like he does her every day.

He has to fight himself and the urges to go to the motel and bring her home with him and show her just how much she needs him and how much he misses her. Every night he lies in bed alone, cold and praying that it is the last night he would have to spend alone, and the next day he realises it’s not and continues hoping.

A part of his heart has still not come back since he saw Vary three months ago at the Christel motel, and he knows it never will, not until Vary walks back with it.

The last three months that just went by were horrible because his mind forced him to work even though his heart said otherwise and so far he has had the most record for, being late to board meetings, being late to conference meetings, missing four contract deal and cancelling a business trip on the day he’s supposed to leave. He couldn’t keep it together, not for even a second, and he knew it was only a matter of time before he loses it completely.

He lost it a week ago at the fourth board meeting held in two months because the previous three were a disaster. There he broke down in tears and couldn’t be consoled and instead of giving a speech on the company’s plan to ship its branch to Africa, especially Nigeria, he narrated the tragic story of Vary and himself and how his mistake has cost him his son, wife who is the woman he loves and now his marriage.