Chapter 16 - my older brother

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Dying... I hated the word. It was scary to think that someday I would fall asleep and not wake back up. I always had this idea that if we died we be reincarnated as another person not remembering our past. The thing is was I didn't know what I was supposed to do. I really didn't understand the whole situation.

As my mind had stopped wondering about dying two adults came in with a little bundle. I smiled at myself knowing exactly who it was. "Who's that?" Reid looked at me and realised. "Your so tiny" he laughed.

"I know" I sighed at the memory. Soon enough a little toddler walked in, stumbling. Reid looked at me confused. I thought I'd never see his face again that young, cute chubby face. It was someone that I hadn't seen in a long time. Someone I had missed a lot.

"I thought you was a lonely child?" He questioned. I bit my lip dreading telling anyone about the little boy in my memory.

"I am a lonely child" I nodded soon enough Reid could see I was upset.

"Shane take a look at your new baby sister" my mother picked Shane up and cuddled him tightly.

"Mummy_ what's hwer nwame" Shane spoke in a cute High pitched voice.

"This is Casey your new little sister" my mother smiled. I had never seen my mum smile in a long time.

"That's my older brother..." I began to explain. "He..." I dreaded to say the word unless it brought back that memory. Reid cuddled me hushing.

"Come on Shane it's time for bed" dad had grabbed him from my mums arms.

"I don't wanna go to bed" Shane stropped. He soon yawned deeply and fluttered his eyes and cuddled into my dads shoulder.

"I thought I'd never see my brother again" a tear rolled down my cheek. "It's been years since... The..." I didn't finished off my sentence as Reid looked down at his feet.

"We all deal with death differently..." He started to say. "We soon deal with the fact that they're not coming back" he nodded understanding my situation.

"What? I mean..." He sighed at me and picked something out of his pocket.

"I lost someone to" he gave the picture to me and turned away not looking at it. "Her name is Maeve... She was amazing, smart.... Pretty no wait beautiful" he smiled but it soon disappeared. "And when the BAU was Working on a case it involved her and her stalker and I..." He clenched his fist. "I watched her die right in front of me she said she was doing it to protect me... and the worst thing was... I couldn't do anything to save her" he turned back round to collect the photo.

"I guess we both have loved ones who died for us" I walked up to him. I decided to tell him I was feeling strong about telling him my brothers story.

"It happened when I was 16..." I could remember the memory vividly. "It was a nice day and my brother was taking me round to my friends for a party..." I glanced at him. "The car had broken down on the motorway and there were cars zooming up and down and I don't know what happened but_ I_ and I just_" I panicked. "My brother had pushed me out the way all I remember is banging my head on the side of the road" I nodded. "Next thing I was in hospital... And my brother was right next to me..." I clenched my fist near my mouth starting to cry. "My brother died because of me... It was my fault..." I started to breathe heavily. "I should've looked where I was going and... My brother would still be alive right now" I looked up. "And that's when as soon as I was 18 I moved because I couldn't stick being around the house"

"I'm sorry" he mentioned as he sat down on the park bench again.

"This is where I used to come for peace I felt as if my brother was with me the whole time here" I had fully calmed down now. "I understand how you feel Reid I blamed myself for years before I could get over it and when I had enough money to move I fled to America trying to escape but it always stays with you... You can't run or hide from it" I breathed out slowly.

"That's true" he nodded. "I tried to hide away I even took two weeks off of work because of Maeve's death but it did nothing... I was afraid I was going crazy or turning paranoid like my mom" he explained. "But here I am and I found someone new... When you came along well... It went away... I had been clinging onto it forever and I couldn't help but feel that she had finally left me alone" he shook his head smiling. "But that's stupid talk" he laughed trying to in lighten the mood a bit.

"I'm glad I met you Spence" I smiled. "Yeah okay nobody understands how you're that smart but... You're really sweet" I play punched him. "When I get out of this coma I am so gonna hug you" I promised. "I miss you so much" I held his hand.

"Well I'm here" he smiled. I frowned at him.

"No offence but... Your just my imagination" I sat there awkwardly. "But I guess having an imagination of you isn't bad it least I have someone to talk to" I waved my legs like I was five years old and couldn't touch the floor.

"Thanks... I think" he laughed. "People are talking to you I think" he quietened down trying to listen. "Can't make it out..." He gave up after a little while. "You'll be with them soon enough" he smiled.

"Soon?" I questioned "but you said_"

"I know what I said... But your brain changes all the time.... So it keeps changing the decision to keep your heart going or not" he shrugs. "Even I get confused with it and I have a PHD" he smiled.

"I'd never thought I'd see the day Dr. Genius gets confused" I smiled at him.

"Shut up" he playfully punched me. "It shouldn't be long before you start to wake up" he mentioned.

"I can't wait..." I was excited to go but sad to leave the peaceful place in my mind.

(Reid's pov)
I sat there nearly falling off the chair I was so tired. Blake went off to get me some coffee. The doctor came in to check on her. "Has she awakened at all?" She asked checking her temperature.

"No..." I shook myself to wake up a bit. "Do you think she's going to wake up at all?" I asked looking at Casey's face that was plain and simple.

"I... Well I can't quite answer that" she shrugged. She injected Casey a dose and checked her temperature again. "She looks better than she did before" she smiled.

"I want her to be awake" I sighed dropping back in the chair.

"I wouldn't like to be the one to tell you this but these things... They take time and its all down to how her body responds and... Well some people don't respond at all" she explained.

"I realise that" I nodded. "It's not the same without her talking" I laughed trying to cheer myself up.

"Are you a friend of hers?" She asked being nice.

"Yeah well... You see I kind of 'like' her" I said embarrassingly. "That's why when she should've woke up yesterday I got her these flowers and I was going to tell her but..." I looked down. "Do you think I missed my chance at telling her?" I asked nervously.

She looked at me with honest eyes. "Everyone has a second chance it's just how life goes on" she smiled. "Even if you think you've missed your chance..." She pointed at me. "You still got another one" she said. "Now if anything changes as in temperature, colour or even if she's awake just press that button over there and I'll attend to you right away" she walked out slowly with her high heels echoing on her way out.

I got my coat and put it over me. "It's not the same without you talking Casey" I smiled. "Please awaken tomorrow" I whispered as I faced the ceiling wishing upon it. I slowly drifted off into a dreamless sleep in hoping tomorrow would be the day I'd have my second chance.

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A/N... Hey guys sorry took so long to update I've been caught up on coursework and early revision for exams plus I wanted to make this part good for you guys out there. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I will try to update the next one as soon as possible for you guys out there. I'm really enjoying this fan-fiction every time I re-read over the chapter I'm like oh my god I wrote that me and I'm just like yep I know I should become an author:') I'm not vain jeez...

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