Inside The Mind Of A Troubled Teenage Girl

Monday 27th February 2017

Guilty

On Thursday the 1st of December Harvey took pills, weather it was an overdose or not it was clear why. I got pissed and scared of what he was going to do, Fletcher was taking to the both of us at the same time and what Harvey was saying to him scared me. I knew he was going to do it.

Friday 2nd December:

I sat in the canteen at break when I watched Harvey walk past the huge windows with his friends. My phone went off and I picked it up in front of me. I read the notification "Message from: Harvey" I didn't read what it said until I opened the message.

Harvey: Btw Fletcher is doing my streaks coz I'm in hospital

Me:  What...?

My heart sank. 'Why would he say that after last night?' I thought.

Harvey: Fletcher is doing my streaks

Me: Yeh I got that bit

But how can you be in the hospital when I watched u walk past the canteen???

Annie sat next to me and I showed her what he had said after he sent it. She got annoyed because she knew about the night before and he knew how much I cared. After all, at the time he was one of my best friends.

(No reply)

Me a few minutes later: That's not funny Harvey

Don't even fucking joke about that

Harvey: It's a little funny...

Wait no... It's hilarious

I ignored him after that and wanted to cry. How could he be such a prick? He knew I cared and I did not want to lose another friend. I couldn't talk to him. I kept passing him in the corridors on the way to class and I just couldn't look at him. How could he be so cold?

Harvey later on in the day:

Do you remember what pills it was I took? I can't remember what they were called

Once again. I ignored him.

On Fridays I go to my Dads after school to stay the night. My stepmum was picking me up that day as my Nanna was away in Spain. I walk to the outside of an industrial estate where I wait to be picked up as two of my sibling are collected before me.

I got a call from Lexi on the way not long before I reached the industrial area.

Lexi: Hi Emily!!!

She sounded so happy on the other end of the line.

Her and Harvey were extremely close, but she didn't know what was going to happen that night. The event that would make many of our worlds crash....

Me: Hey Lexi....

My friends knew I had been depressed all day but didn't know why. What was I supposed to say?

Lexi: Sorry I'm walking alone and wanted to talk to someone *Laughs*

Me: It's fine the devil isn't going to pick until about 20mins so I have time

I tried so hard not to sound scared and upset as I was. But Lexi always could tell.

Lexi: Emily? What's wrong?

She sounded concerned. She knew what I was like but she never heard me like that.

Me: I can't say....