Chapter 4: This is Real

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Chapter 4: This is Real
2 weeks later

I groan as I walk out of the bathroom from yet another morning of puking. Today was my first ultrasound and I was both excited and terrified. How was this happening? Today was going to make this real. I'm having a kid and Andy isn't going to be around....but I guess he will be because of the band. Crap.

I groan again then walk over to my bed and lay down. My hair was pulled into a ponytail and was out of my way. I sigh then place my hand on my stomach. Slowly I run small circles over it and smile. "Hey there....your life isn't going to be simple. You're Mom and Dad are rockstars. You weren't planned, but does not mean that I'm not excited." I say and feel tears come to my eyes. "You can't hear me and I get that but I feel like I need to talk to you. I'm selfish, but with you know I can't be. I will try to tell Andy but he doesn't seem to want to listen to me." I say then take in a deep breath as I just lay there looking at the ceiling. I must have looked crazy.

I close my eyes and just lay there till I feel good enough to get up and start to get ready for the appointment which I had in three hours. Then with L.A traffic I needed to leave in an hour. I sigh as I go into my closet and start to pick things out. Guess the whole move to Vegas thing is out... but that would be a good way to get away from Andy.

I take in a deep breath then put on all my clothes. I walk into the bathroom and look myself over. I looked good, but not concert good which is fine. I place my hand on my stomach and smile. He or she was in there and I'm super happy about that. Sure it was under some weird circumstances and they weren't ideal but I was happy. I get to be a parent. I nod my head then decide to head downstairs to eat some food.

I get down stairs and see that my phone is charging on the counter. "Holy shit I forgot about you!" I say as I walk over to it and see that there were texts. I look over them and see that they were from Andy.

"Hey are you okay?"

"You were acting weird during lunch yesterday?"

"Why was it such a big deal when Juliet brought up you being pregnant?" At that question my throat closed up. Shit.. he picked up on that. This isn't good. I take in a deep breath then reply.

"No reason. It just scared me is all. Don't worry." I text back then rest my head on the cupboard. I sigh then bang my head a little. I need to tell him. I know this and I will, but how do I tell him something like this? I take in a shuddering breath and shake my head. Fuck. I have to do this. I have to.

I gulp then grab my phone again and look at it. I'll do it. I'll do it once I come up with a good way to tell him. I nod my head then go to grab my keys. I grab them the head out of the house to go to the doctors. "Lord give me patience today cause if you give me strength while I'm in traffic I'mma ram a bitch." I say then get in my car. Quickly I get the car turned on and the cool air of the AC blasts.

I flip on music then head out. My house isn't to far from the doctors so I knew it shouldn't take that long but with fucking traffic it always surprises me how long it takes to get to places. I roll my eyes and take a deep breath as I drive. This was going to be a long day. I could tell.

Once I pulled up to the doctor's office I get out of my car and put on a smile. Today made this all real. No matter what happened today I would forever know that this was real. This realization made it feel hard to breathe. I shake my head then look at the front door then head inside. The smell of sterilizer fills my nose. I cringe a little then walk over to the front desk.

The lady looks up at me and she has the most bored look on her face. "Can I help you sir?" she asks and I smile at her.

"I have an appointment for Ashley Purdy today." I say and she nods then goes onto her computer she presses a few buttons then gives me a fake smile.

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