Redesign Me, State of the Art (Jalex)

So Bittersweet By Our Design

Alex's POV

I really didn't want to do this. I really didn't want to go to school. My alarm had yet to go off, but that hadn't stopped me from staring at my ceiling for the past hour and a half and blasting Blink-182 into my headphones for lack of something better to do. I had been laying there for so long that I think I might have convinced myself that I wasn't actually going to have to go.

I was abruptly pulled out of my thoughts by the sound of my mom yelling my name from the other side of my door and pounding her fists against it. I groaned and rolled over.

"Alexander! You get your little tush out of bed right now or breakfast will be a thing of the past!" she threatened. As I was debating whether or not to come out of my blanket cocoon, I realized just how badly I needed to take a piss, my stomach making an audible growl as well, and I decided that food and a stop to the bathroom were things that needed to happen soon. I threw my covers off and started to walk towards the door when she started again. "Fine, but if you think that I'm going to-"

"Geez, mom, I'm up, I'm up!" I growled, opening the door and weaving past her into the bathroom.

After taking what might have been the longest pee of my life, I turned to the mirror and fidgeted with my ridiculous and uncooperative hair. I looked like I could be a character from Dragon Ball Z, or that I just went through a wind tunnel. My hair was sticking up in what seemed to be every direction possible, and I was stumped on how I was going to tame it in under 20 minutes.

I gave up after ten, and decided that I would just slap a beanie on instead. Trudging back to my room, I smelled the sweet smell of my mom's pancakes and realized just how hungry I was all over again. Throwing on a pair of grey skinnies and a red v-neck t-shirt, I skipped downstairs and slid into my seat at the table, where a stack of syrupy goodness was already waiting for me with a knife and a fork.

I shoveled them down like I hadn't eaten in months, because when you're a teenage boy, every hour without food feels like just that; months.

I checked the clock above the stove and realized that I was going to be late if I didn't get my ass in to gear soon. I yelled a quick "Thanks mom!" as I threw my dish in the sink and made my way to the bathroom upstairs.

I brushed my teeth in a haste, nearly dripping toothpaste everywhere. After wiping my face and attempting to fix my hair one last time (with no success) I turned off the bathroom light and dashed into my bedroom.

I threw on my leather jacket, my black beanie, and my black chucks before sprinting down the stairs and out the door, back pack in hand. I faintly heard a sarcastic "Goodbye you ungrateful child!" from my mom before I started my car and backed out of the driveway.

Now, I'm gonna give you the lowdown about me. Firsts have never really been my thing. First kisses, first dates, first impressions; I fuck them all up, every time. I fuck everything up. It's what I do. So, naturally I didn't expect the first day of school to be any different.

Getting ready had almost distracted me from the said activity.... school. As I drove, I reverted back into my earlier state of thoughts of dread about the day that lay ahead of me. It was a bad idea to leave me alone with my thoughts, because they often got me into more trouble than they did creative avenues and wondrous ideas. However, over the past couple months, I have had no choice but to become used to being alone, so the fact that I wouldn't make many- or any- friends wasn't what has been plaguing me since I left. It was people finding out my secrets all over again that was scaring me to death. I wouldn't be able to handle all the looks and the stares. I don't think I could make it through this time. It had so much taken out of me that I was almost nothing.... but then we moved. And I could start over. I have to start over. I have to make sure that no one finds out. I won't repeat my mistakes; never again.

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hey guys!!!! i am so excited that im finally going to start writing my first chaptered fanfiction! woooohoooo (ok maybe im a little too excited), if you guys have any ideas or comments or criticism feel free to share them! i hope you guys like what i do, and also i started a co-written account with my friend emily called jalexbarakittys so check it out!!!

(btw the next chapter is better so just bear with me)

-emma

song credit: That Girl's A Straight-Up Hustler - All Time Low