Chasing Butterflies

Piece of the Puzzle

There was no way to know where he went but Jimin didn't return home until the next morning. In the several long drawn out hours that passed before he did, the remaining boys accomplished a multitude of tasks.

After Izzy's tears had dried up and she finally released the death-grip she had on Namjoon's sweatshirt, the first thing he did was call the Horseshoe Cafe. He promptly informed Mrs. Lee that Izzy wasn't feeling well and needed to stay home from work for several days, or perhaps weeks, depending on how her "condition" progressed. Yoongi took it upon himself to flush the morphine pills down the toilet. Once he did that, Taehyung and Jungkook assisted him in digging through Izzy's room to ensure that she didn't have anything else stashed within the sunny bedroom walls—she didn't. Jin was busy in the kitchen, making a meal big enough to feed twenty people. While the other boys went rushing about the apartment, Hoseok sat quietly on the couch. He didn't say a word, he didn't look at anyone or anything but the floorboards. Izzy stood silently at the edge of the room, just watching him as she scratched absentmindedly at the bend of her elbow. Then slowly, she put one foot in front of the other and went over to him, taking a seat at his side.

"Hoseok?" She spoke softly so the others wouldn't hear, not that anything could be heard over the sound of three loud boys rampaging through he bedroom just down the hall.

"Are you okay?" He said nothing for a while. Then finally he sighed heavily and turned his reddened eyes on Izzy.

"No. I'm not okay." It was the blatant, unfiltered truth, Izzy could see it in his face and it shocked her a bit. Her eyes spelled out the question her dry mouth couldn't formulate: why?

"I was there when Namjoon was trying to get clean. I was there every time. It was just the two of us back then, we were nobodies and we had nothing. He tried so hard to quit, and he failed a lot, and every time I had to watch him fall apart all over again." Izzy listed with a heavy heart, gently taking hold of his hand. "I don't want to see you go through that too." Izzy's mouth hung open for a few breathless moments as she tried to make words come out.

"I–I'm so sorry, I didn't know that," tears welled up in her eyes but she held them back—this moment wasn't about her.

"Well I never told you, I wouldn't have expected you to automatically know everything we've ever gone though," he smiled a bit. It was tiny, barely-there, wry twitch of the lips. It was the complete opposite of the big, wonderful smiled she'd grown accustomed to.

Izzy squeezed his hand, "I never wanted to hurt you—any of you," she whispered. "I thought that by hiding it, you guys wouldn't find out, and you wouldn't worry, and that way I wouldn't hurt you. I guess that plan failed horribly," she trailed off.

"Yeah it did."

Izzy's head shot up to look at Hoseok, only to find a goofy grin resting comfortably on his face, and she found herself smiling back. Her arms wound tightly around his neck, there was no doubt that she was hugging him too tightly for it to be comfortable but he didn't complain; Hoseok held onto Izzy just as tightly.

"I really am sorry," she mumbled into his shoulder.

"I know. I've already forgiven you," he answered with a smile as they pulled out of their hug.

"You're too nice to me. You should be mad or upset or something."

"I know that too," Hoseok began, "But I also know that being mad or upset isn't going to fix anything. Besides, I'd much rather be happy," he concluded.

Izzy watched him sitting there in front of her, an easy grin on his face and his eyes crinkled happily, and she couldn't help but marvel at this wonderful boy.

"You're pretty amazing, you know that?" Her head tilted a bit as she asked the question, not taking her eyes off of him.

"Well it's about time you noticed!" He exclaimed with a ringing laugh. His laughter, his happiness was contagious and despite the storm raging in her head, Izzy found herself joining in. It was a real, genuine laugh. It was nice.

"Hey! Giggles and Chuckles, get over here, the food is ready," Jin shouted at them from the kitchen, and they just laughed harder at the silly nicknames.

"May I help you up, Giggles," Hoseok jumped up off the couch and held a hand out to Izzy.

"Well don't mind if I do, Chuckles," she grinned as she took his hand and he pulled her up from the couch.

"You haven't been eating well, so you need to eat now," he tugged her to the kitchen, suddenly serious, and pushed her gently onto her usual stool beside Yoongi.

The boys crowded around the kitchen counter, either sitting or standing, as Jin placed a series of heaping plates in front of them. It felt quite normal—the boys were eating and talking over each other, mouths full, as Izzy just watched them and smiled to herself. The moment was perfect—almost. There was one important piece missing from the puzzle, and that was Jimin. There was a twinge of pain in Izzy's chest when she recalled the way he'd looked at her today. It was awful and it made her heart ache. She wanted her sweet Jimin back. The one who sat just a bit too close to her on the couch, who mumbled goodnight to her from the other side of their bedroom, who found any and every excuse to hug her close and bury his face in her hair.

Izzy's plate sat nearly untouched, her mind was far too busy to remind her stomach that she really was hungry. All she could think of was how she'd let Jimin down and that she had to reconcile this. If getting clean was what it took for Jimin to smile at her again then she would do it, no matter how hard it was. Izzy couldn't quite figure out when it happened or how but at some point her world spun on its axis and it wasn't the sun that motivated her to get out of bed in the morning—it was Jimin's smile. And as much as Izzy tried she couldn't help but like his smile—she couldn't help but like him, a lot.

"Izzy?" Yoongi's quiet voice cut through her thoughts and Izzy's revaluation dissipated as quickly as it formed. "You're not eating," he pushed her plate closer towards her and Izzy smiled.

"Sorry, I was just thinking," she whispered and picked up her chopsticks. The boys were busy counting how many shrimp Taehyung could stuff into his mouth and paid no mind to the quiet conversation between Izzy and Yoongi.

"About who?" Izzy didn't answer, but she didn't need to, Yoongi knew the answer when a tomato-red blush began to creep up her neck and onto her cheeks.

"Um, no one."

"Uh huh," a lazy smirk sat on his lips and he watched Izzy push the food around her plate. He shook his head in amusement at her sudden shyness before his expression grew serious.

"He'll come back," Izzy's eyes shot up to his face, full of hope. "He's just a bit upset right now. Every day when you went to work he'd tell us all about how you were doing and how proud he was of you." Izzy gulped heavily, the hope draining from her face. "He's not mad you, he's mad that he didn't see that you were suffering. Jimin just needs some time to cool off. But he'll come back, trust me."

Yoongi slung his arm around Izzy's shoulders and pulled her into his side. Her head fell to his shoulder and her eyes closed with a sigh.

"How can I fix this?"

"Be honest with him this time. No more secrets, no more pretending, just trust him, trust us. It'll be okay."