Tyler drove us back to his place, he knew I wouldn't want to go home and let me have my space. I was devestated, but I shouldn't be. Tyler, the one guy I have been in love with for years finally confessed his feelings for me. He finally likes me back. But I wasn't so sure anymore at least not right now. Today has been overwhelming.
My mom had called me later that day to tell me not to worry about coming back to the hospital that night. My father didn't have the energy to be up so she thought I should come by in the morning. I didn't like it but I obeyed. I told her that I was staying with Tyler that night. If she had any suspicion about my relationship with Chris she didn't comment on it. Since it was a Friday night, Tyler and I decided to just have a movie night even though I was not up for it I forced myself to be somewhat joyous. I mean come on, my best friend, the father of my child actually has some type of feeling for me. I couldn't help, but feel like he is only feeling that way because of Chris.
Every time Tyler looked at me I forced a smile. I couldn't decipher if he knew it was fake. I hated feeling this way because of Chris. He was nothing. He was not my real boyfriend or the father of my child. Then why was it that I felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest. That it hurt to breathe. We did nothing but bicker and argue with each other.
Although there were times Chris made me laugh. He knew it was hard,not telling Tyler he was the father and for my best friend ditching me for his stupid ex-girlfriend. Even though he was being inapporiate and never listened to me; I knew he did it to make me smile. He never actually meant whatever he said or did.
He told me things he wasn't obliged to say. He let me in and from the first day I met him he did nothing, but try to help me. He was there for every incident that happened with Andrew. It hurts that he was with her after I left. I can't help but feel that green monster. He still wanted her even after everything she did to him.
I can't help but fathom the whole situation. When did I start to lose my feelings for Tyler and develop something deeper for Chris?
"Bobbie, are you sure your alright?" Tyler said gently. I was startled a little. I didn't realize how lost in my thoughts I was.
Not sure if I was able to say something without my voice cracking I played it safe. Nodding with a small grin I grabbed onto his hand and squeezed. He knew I was lying, but thankfully he didn't press the issue further. I wish it was still him I cared so much for. Maybe its just a faze. Maybe I will get over this silly crush I have on Chris and my heart can truly belong to Tyler. Be the way it should be. After the movie ended-I'm not sure what was on- we headed to his room to fall asleep. He let me have the bed, assuming he was just going to sleep on the floor like he usually would when I spent the night, he surprised me. The bed dipped on my right. I guess I was looking at him with wide surprise eyes because he replied. " What? I won't try anything I promise."
I nodded and rolled back over. It was hard trying to fall asleep, Tyler's warmth was like a heater on my back. Some time during the night we must have moved closer to each other because when I woke up his arms were wrapped around my bare shoulders. Trying not to wake him up I scooted away from him. I wanted him but not in that sense anymore. My palms were sweaty, but my heart didn't quicken like usual. I could feel the lust, but not the love like there usually was. I was still utterly confused by all of this. Walking downstairs, I headed to the kitchen. It was ridicuously early.
The water slid down my throat with ease. I set the cup down in the sink, rinsing it off in the process. I didn't have the urge to go back upstairs to sleep next to Tyler. Finally making a decision I sat down on the couch, just contemplating everything.
"Everything is going to be okay," I rubbed my belly, feeling the hardness of it. I needed to be strong for my baby. She or he needed a strong mother. Sighing, I gave up on thinking about Chris. I needed to work on myself. I needed a job so I could provide for my baby. I needed to make things right with my friends and family. I didn't need Chris. Not anymore, Andrew was put away. He couldn't reach us anymore.
