Dear Journal

Mesmerizing Journal

February 11

When I went to my weekly therapy session, I had quite a few questions. The first being, what the heck was wrong with me? Was I crazy? Of course I was crazy!

The moment I stepped in his comfortable office, I handed him my journal. He "hmm'd" a few times and nodded.

"So, do you understand now? I was hoping you would see it soon." He finally spoke.

"That I really am a freak and you've been lying to me this whole time? Yeah, I understand completely." I was furious. Why doesn't he just give me some meds to calm my crazy and be done?

"You're not crazy. You have DID."

"What is that?" It sounded like a horrible std.

"Have you ever seen The Three Faces of Eve?" He asked irrelevantly.

"No?"

"Watch it."Was his final response.

"What's wrong with me?" I pleaded. I needed answers.

"Disassociative Identity Disorder. You become a different person when you have these anxiety attacks." He explained with ease.

I sat with my mouth wide open. I had heard of that before. Some kid had it in my school. He would randomly change from "Quiet Andy" to "Screaming His Head Off, Trying to Kill People Andy."

"You have a mild case though, Megan. Mild enough to treat with a little therapy." He sensed my uneasiness.

"Am I violent?"

"No. You're a sad girl. A little girl, named Meggie. She's who's been writing in your journal, destroying your room and expressing her own low self esteem. She needed an outlet."

I was still stunned. I was just a normal person. I couldn't remember any of this. Couldn't she have chosen a more original name? I thought back to Andy, and how afraid people were of him.

Which made me think of Vanessa.

"You haven't been acting like yourself lately."

She seemed so scared.

What had I done to her?