beauty behind the madness | the weeknd

21

Rose

Friday night, my phone rings and I go to grab it. I look at the caller ID and sigh. It's Jeremy. I haven't spoken to him in a couple of days and he hasn't shown up to school, either. I think about ignoring the call, but then decide against it.

"Hey?" I say, a little uncertainly.

"Hey," Jeremy replies. The line goes quiet for a second. I can't think of anything to say. "Um, Rose, look, I'm sorry. About, you know, kissing you."

"It's fine, Jeremy," I say. "Honestly." 

"I wanna make it up to you," Jeremy announces.

"What?" I ask.

"Come out with me," Jeremy says. "I'll pick you up."

"Um, no, Jeremy, I can't tonight," I say. 

"What? Why? Are you busy or something?" he asks.

"No, I'm not doing anything," I answer. "I just . . . I'm not feeling up to going out."

"Come on, Rose! It'll be fun!" Jeremy pushes.

I chew my lip, considering whether or not I should go. The truth is, after Abel told me that Jeremy was watching me all lesson and after he turned up to my house unannounced and started to act all crazy and asking who I was texting, I just started to feel wary of him.  But then again, Jeremy knows that we're just friends, nothing more than that. "Um," I say now. "Okay. Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise," Jeremy tells me and I roll my eyes. I hate it when people can't tell me where it is that they're taking me. How am I meant to decide what to wear?

"Okay," I say finally. "I'll see you later on." I hang up and quickly go and shower. When I'm done showering, I start to get ready. Couldn't Jeremy just tell me where we're going? I look through my closet, trying to find something decent to wear. I pick out jeans and a sleeveless red blouse.

When Jeremy's car pulls into the driveway, I go downstairs and get into the car. "Hey," he says. "You look nice."

"Um, thanks," I tell him, smiling. I decide to ignore whatever awkwardness there is between us. The car ride is silent until he pulls up to a house. Loud music playing and the sound of cheers and laughing come from inside. My heart freezes. I look over at Jeremy. "This is where you're taking me? To a party?"

Jeremy looks at me, nodding. "Yeah," he says and then the look of realisation is plastered across his face. "Oh, shit, I'm sorry, Rose! I didn't think. Look, it's fine. I've been to a couple of parties since joining the support group. I think it'll be good for you to go in and see how you do."

I shake my head and bite back the tears. "No," I whisper. "I don't think I can do this."

Jeremy takes my hand in his and I quickly pull it back. "Yes, you can," he tells me. "If I can do it, you can. Trust me."

I think about it. It could either go one way or another - I could walk in there and be tempted by all the alcohol around me. Or I could walk in there and stay completely sober, which would honestly be a miracle and an achievement for me. I nod and Jeremy smiles. We get out the car and I follow him to the house. 

"Hey! Jeremy!" someone calls out from the crowd. The boy comes into view. He has light skin and brown eyes. For a moment, my eyes fall on the drink in his hand, but I quickly tear my eyes away and look back at him. 

"'Sup, Tyler," Jeremy says. "Rose, this is Tyler. Tyler, Rose." Jeremy looks at me. "I'll be back, okay?" I nod and watch as he disappears into the crowd.

"So, you're the girl Jeremy left us for?" Tyler asks, grinning. 

"Um, I guess," I answer, not really knowing what to say. I shift on my feet uncomfortably.

 "When did y'all start dating?" Tyler asks, taking a sip from his drink.

My body freezes. What the hell did he just say? When did we starting dating? "Excuse me?" I ask. "Me and Jeremy aren't dating. We're just friends."

"That's not what he told us," Tyler says and I frown.

"And what else has he been saying about me?" I want to know. I can feel the anger boiling up inside me. Why has Jeremy gone around talking shit about me?

Tyler thinks. "That you guys met at a support group, or something?" he says. "And that you were all over him. What else? Oh yeah, he says you're a bit obsessive and that you -" Before he can finish, I storm out the house, furious.

"Rose! Rose!" I hear him call out from behind me. "Where are you going? Come back!" I ignore him and continue to walk off. I don't know where I'm going, but I don't want to talk to him or look at his ugly face. I feel him grab my hand. He spins me around to look at him and I slap him, hard. He looks at me in shock. "What the fuck?! What was that for?" I don't answer him. Again, I start to walk off, but he grabs my wrist, gripping it tighter this time. I know that a bruise will form there. 

"Let go of me, Jeremy," I say through gritted teeth. I don't look him in the eye. I don't want to.

"Not until you tell me what's wrong," he replies. "Did I do something? Are you mad at me?"

"Yes, I'm fucking mad at you!" I scream. "Why have you been spreading shit about me?" 

He looks confused, but I don't buy into the act. His hands still gripping my wrist. I try to wriggle my hand free, but he's too strong. He clenches his jaw. "I haven't said anything about you, Rose," he tells me. 

"Ouch, Jeremy, please let go of me," I say and he finally loosens his grip. I start rubbing my wrist. I look at him, annoyed. "So, tell me why your friend thinks that we're dating and that I'm 'obsessed' with you."

"I didn't say that," Jeremy tells me, but I don't believe him. "I swear, Rose, I didn't." I laugh bitterly to myself and start walking away. "Rose! Just come back! You don't even know how to get home! I'll drive you back!"

I ignore him and continue walking. "I'll find my own way home, thanks."