I can't change who I am...and I don't want to.

Chapter 4 - I don't want to cause a fight.

Taking everything for granted but we still respect the time.

We move along with some new passion knowing everything is fine.

And I would wait and watch the hours fall in a hundred separate lines,

But I regain repose and wonder how I ended up inside

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As my eyelids fluttered open, my vision had reappeared showing me an empty bed. Only hours ago had it been filled with Cole’s wet, shivering body as he wrapped his arms around me for support and love. I small note clung to the sheets revealing seven numbers plastered to it. Cole’s mobile.

Relieved once I had finally pushed my saw legs out of bed, my ancient mobile started to hum a tune over on my desk. Reaching out to it, the name ‘Cole, the most amazing person you will ever meet ;)’ appeared on the screen. Giggling I answered it.

“Yes?”

“I hope you don’t mind me intruding on your phone before I left. I had to make sure you were OK, and yes I did add myself to your contacts.”

“Well it’s only you and my mother and father on there anyway”

“Ahhh, no secret crushes then?” I heard his chuckle from the distant sound waves. He carried on speaking.

“Well anyway don’t forget you have your job today”

“What?!? You could’ve reminded me last night!”

“Well I’m sorry I was too busy telling you the rest of my life!” Sarcastically those words hit me, and I remembered the story of his parents. Also the image of the girl with piercings telling me I start at ten am tomorrow morning. Glancing at the clock, I realized I had at least an hour, before I had to step into the real world again.

“OK, I’m sorry. Look I need to shower before I start to reek of rain and dirt from your never ending show of hugs last night. You know if my mother ever finds out you’re toast right?”

“Well then I guess that’s a risk I’m willing to take” Laughing we finally said goodbye and I walked towards the small bathroom. As I entered, it looked so clean and pristine I could tell mother had been very upset with last night’s actions. Ever since that night, she would always turn to cleaning. I guess it’s a way of saying when something else gets ugly. There is another thing to make better.

Stripping from my wet shorts and jumper I washed the grease and memories from yesterday away. The cold water gave me a sudden burst of chills as it exploded from the shower head. Each drop fell on me with a meaning to get me clean. It was a nice feeling. I felt as though I was being purified ready to face the challenges that I would encounter as my day proceeded. This was obviously going to happen.

When I had changed into a black T-shirt and some dark blue skinnies, I faced my wet hair with the deadly, burning hairdryer. At some extent I feel sorry for my hair to go through so much pain. But then again who would want to finally be able to see me looking like I had just come out of a boxing match in a swimming pool. My point exactly. I had always been self conscious. It’s one of the main reasons I would be so shy towards other people. Knowing that I would be put down for who I was, just wasn’t something I wanted to experience in my childhood.

After my hair was looking good, but felt dead. My time was almost up and I knew that I would have to break a smile at numerous amounts of strangers I didn’t know.

“Erika! Come one darling, I’m taking you now!” Without realization I grabbed my phone stuffing it deep into my pocket, then wondered downstairs.