The Homeboy and The Virgin

22-Duke

   “I—I love you.”

   I could see the lie in her face. “You don’t love anybody but your damn self.” I curled my lip, disgusted with her. “You’ll lie, cheat, and manipulate anybody and everybody to get what you want. I’m tired of it. You either tell me the truth, or you leave right now and never come back.”

   She swallowed, and the confliction was on her face. “Fine. Fine.” A tear slipped down her face, and she wiped it away. “Crank broke up with me when he found out this baby isn’t his.”

   I felt like I had gotten slap. I had this same conversation with her two years ago. My fists clenched. Unclenched. I was not that guy. “Who’s it for?”

   “My law professor. I was failing, Duke!” She pleaded with me to understand, but her words fell on deaf ears. I didn’t understand, nor did I want to. How long could she play this game? “But, I want this baby. I’m keeping him. Her. It.” Her fingers nervously ran through her hair.

   I held all the power. Normally, she held all the power. But I could kick her out, let her please me, or ignore her, which I figured was the worst thing I could do. But I didn’t want to do anything right now except forget Junior. Laila would get hers one day. I was not the one to rule out revenge—look what had happened when I tried with Junior.

   So I pulled away from her, a blank look on my face. She looked at me, curiosity. “What happened with you and Junior, Duke?” Her voice was gentle, hesitant. We had never shared anything, even when we were a couple. I didn’t want to start now, but I pushed her. I owed her an explanation.

   No, fuck that, I didn’t owe anyone anything. “She fucked me and left me.” My voice was hard.

   Her eyes widened. “Shit, Duke, how’s that for tables turned?” She shook her head and laughed, hair brushing against her cheek. Our moment was over. “It’s nothing less than what you deserve.” Her voice was accusing.

   “Damn, the pot callin’ the kettle black, huh? Comin’ from the girl who has aborted a baby, cheated and lied her way through plenty of guy’s pants, and fucked her professor—she gets to throw judgment around, but I deserve to have my heart broken. Alright.”

   She shrugged. “You don’t think I know I’ll get my own one day? Because I do, Duke. I’ve come to the conclusion I’m going to hell in an elevator on fire with the heater on—it’s all about living my life how I want right now.” She placed a hand at my chest. “But you, Duke, you walk around like you’re so much better than everybody else. I’m happy Junior broke your heart. Somebody should’ve.”

   “You did.”

    She laughed, throwing her head back with her shoulders shaking, and I got a glimpse of beautiful Laila. The old one that referred to herself as ‘Danielle’ and enjoyed life. Damn, what had happened to her? “I know. I’m fully aware I broke your heart—and I did it on purpose.” She hooked her fingers in the waistband of my boxers, bringing me closer. “Duke, we both know we were never really meant to love each other for the rest of our lives. We’re both fire, destroying everything in our path. We’re made for sex and that’s it.”

    Everything she said was true. But I didn’t want to believe it. “I loved you.” Two girls in one day—this had to be a record.

   “And I loved you, too.” She took a deep breath, her hand sliding further inwards, bringing me closer to that mood than I had been all morning. “And that was why I left you, cheated on you. We were both too deep in for what we were meant for. We argued all the time, couldn’t stay faithful to each other, and we were both too young for the seriousness.”