Good and Evil || An ATLA Fanfiction

Chapter 26

I had never had a real first kiss.

Had.

Now I was standing in my cabin, my body on the edge of collapsing from exhaustion, yet the lips on mine vividly tried to keep me up.

I never focused on romance, it seemed unnecessarily along with frivolous. Either way, any chance of a love life was washed away the second I challenged the Fire Lord.

Yet here I was.

Heat pulsed through my body, warming up my wet skin. His hands were on either side of my head, pressed onto the wall. While he used the wall to support himself, my arms were tightly wrapped around his neck.

What was I doing?

My lips sparred with his, but for the first time in my life, I let him win.

Even with him controlling the kiss, Ren's lips were soft, almost cradling my own lips in an embrace.

Slowly he pulled away, catching his breath in gulps. Biting on my lip, I looked up at the man before me.

While I grew up with him -somewhat- I couldn't help but feel as if these weeks were our first time meeting. I had met someone who wasn't set on destroying the world, or trying to succeed, no matter the cost. I had met someone who was willing to fight for what they believed in. He was kind, smart and managed to make my banishment more enjoyable.

If only Zuko could find someone to keep him at bay.

"Azara" he spoke, the way he spoke my name forever changing in my mind.

"That's one way to persuade me in not getting myself killed" I whisper.

"You're stubborn, I had to up my efforts" he chuckles lightly, playing with a strand of my hair.

"Still unimpressed" I whisper, tilting my head to the side, almost teasing him.

He responds by pressing his lips to mine once again.

This time I instantly respond, my heated lips molding with his. Arms encircle me, pulling me into his chest. His rugged smell of coal and the sea air rush into my nostrils. My hands moved from his neck, exploring his arms and shoulders, rising goosebumps from his bare arms.

I sigh in content, enjoying every second of what was happening.

Why did I try to postpone this?

Then it hit me.

Zhao.

I had almost forgotten the feeling of his lips on mine, but know all I could feel was the old man's chapped lips on mine.

I pull away abruptly, my mind spinning.

"I'm sorry, I can't" I whisper, hand on my chest.

"It's okay Azara...I get if you're not ready for this" Ren replies, and while hurt covers his face, he manages to try and hide most of it.

Instantly I catch on to what he means. Reaching forward, I grab his shoulder "No, Ren, it wasn't you, trust me."

"Then what is it?"

Do I dare tell him? I should. He deserves to know. He could help me deal with this.

"Azara?" he croaks, his thumb running along my cheek "What's the matter?"

Since when was I crying?

"I wish you were my first kiss" I mumble.

"What do you mean I-"

"Instead my first kiss was ripped away from me by Zhao" I whisper, looking up at Ren in shame.

At first he looks confused, not understanding what I said. Then, realization slowly grips at his face, making him listen to my words over and over again. "When" he bluntly asks, his joyous voice drained from its light.

"After we first encountered the Avatar, when I was put into that room..." I trail off, shaking my head.

"That was weeks ago Azara! Spirits! You were in there for hours! How long could a kiss ta-" he pauses again, and instead of anger, pure and utter fear covers his face, knowing what happened.

Sitting down on my bed, I look up at his pacing state. "He demanded that I..pleased him...or he would hurt everyone on the ship, including you, Zuko and Grandpa" I croak.

"Azara."

"I had to" I cry out "I wouldn't let any more of the people I love be taken away from me!" Pulling my knees to my chest, I rest my head on my knees. "And after I did what I needed to do, he kept threatening me..kept making me do it again...and again..and again" I whisper shamefully.

"I shouldn't have let you go..I shouldn't of" he says, anger beginning to boil inside of him.

"Ren" I say sharply.

"I'll kill him" Ren growls angrily, puffs of smoke fuming from his nose.

"Ren" I try again, grasping his warming hands.

"What?" he says, looking back down to me.

"No matter what you do, Zhao won't let you get away with it. He's the Fire Lord's lapdog, and with the hatred my Uncle shares towards me, he won't stand up for me, or you. Please, don't do something stupid" I beg, my hands cupping his cheeks.

"How are you so calm right now?" he questions, still breathing heavily.

"I've had to keep a straight face through this" I admit, looking down.

"Azara."

His hand slowly pulls my eyes up to him.

"What?" I croak, the strong barrier I've put up falling apart under his gaze.

"You don't need to keep a straight face, you can let go" Ren whispers gently.

So I do as he says, I let my barriers fall, and they fall hard.