Silence by the M(in)ute

13

"This is so exciting Connie!"

Connie has been hearing Cherry talk about this for a whole two weeks now. Every time they spent time together, Cherry would bring it up. Connie loves spending time with Cherry, going to movies and having her spend the night and going to the park and going too silent raves...it's all so wonderful until Cherry brings up the voice box. Connie is already nervous as it is.

Connie keeps thinking this is good for her. That it'll help her in the long run, and something less to worry about. She continues to worry about her mother who is still in a coma, but she can't bare to go to her yet. She is still home schooled by her teacher, and even she thinks it's a good idea if that's what Connie wishes.

Though is it really what she wants?

She doesn't feel right about it, but she hasn't even started.

Cherry parks her car in front of the hospital and takes Connie's hand, but she stops.

I am not sure about this.

Cherry cups Connie's face with her palms. "Hey. I know it's scary, but I'm right here. Everything will be good."

Connie nods in Cherry's hand slowly. When Cherry lets go Connie leans in to kiss her and it lasts for four seconds before Cherry pulls away giggling.

"You're stalling aren't you?" She pecks Connie's lips before lacing their fingers together and leading them into the hospital.

They are pointed in the direction of Dr. Harris's office, and it seems Cherry drags Connie to it. Cherry is the first to knock and Dr. Harris answers with a bright smile. She sits the two girls down and shuts the door behind her before taking a seat herself in a big chair. She pulls out a voice box that's black and square. It's almost as big and thick as a Harry Potter book and it has a few silver buttons that Connie remembers from the last one. She eyes it skeptically as Dr. Harris places her hands on top of it as if protecting the machine.

"I'm so glad you decided to do this."

Dr. Harris straps the scratchy velcro to her wrist and says that if Connie wants to carry it around she could like this. She went over the same procedure again and Connie remembers all of it from before. Then Dr. Harris shows her the voices she could choose from.

"Which one do you think is more you?" Cherry asks scanning the different accents and sounds displayed on the screen.

The more Connie picks at her choices, the more she thinks none of these are for her. None of these are her voice, and none ever will be. Though the look Cherry gives her, and how Dr. Harris smiles she feels like she has too. If Connie does, she can finally talk to Cherry without using her fingers so they can hold hands, she doesn't have to worry about people knowing sign language, and maybe she can talk to her mom while she's in that coma. Maybe this device can sing too.

Though she wants her own that she can open her mouth and sound can come out. When she talks to Cherry or her mom or anybody. It won't be her, it'll be this thing, and she doesn't know if she wants that. Connie has this urge to cry.

I do not think this a good idea.

Dr. Harris grasps the worried girl's hands. "Connie I know this is frightening, but Cherry and I are here for you."

Connie stares down at the box that seems to mock her. She gulps and reaches out with a shaking hand. Her fingers press against the cool letters as she types out a word.

"Hi."

A female voice that sounds nothing like her before came out of the speakers and Dr. Harris and Cherry smile.

"That sounds lovely," Dr. Harris says.

Connie continues starting down at the box as if she's waiting for it to tell her to continue. That this is a good for Connie, and it's what she wants. Though nothing of the sort happens for her. Instead she feels like crying.

"I know it's different Connie," Dr. Harris says cautiously. "It will take some time getting used to it, but I think this is a great thing for you."

Connie nods slowly and types. "Okay."

She'll try it.