Eddsworld Oneshots, Fluff, Lemons, and Smut

Tord x Reader- Crimson Sights (Part One)

You looked at the paper once more in the folder, until, you suddenly bumped into a pedestrian. The folder flew out of your hands and onto the sidewalk. You fell on your bottom, and let out a little grunt. "Terribly sorry, sir." You said, getting up. "I didn't watch where I-" You looked at the man, who nearly beared a striking resemblance to the criminal in your folder... except, he had an eye patch on the right side of his face and his right arm seemed to be a bit stiff. He picked the folder up, and gave it to you. "I believe you dropped this?" He asked, handing the folder to you. You looked at it, and snatched it from his hands. "Thank you." You said, giving him a dirty look. He shrugged, and started to walk off. Not wanting to miss your (probably only) opportunity, you started to follow him through the crowd of people.

Oddly enough, he didn't look behind him like most of the criminals did when they walked down crowded places. Most of the criminals you captured did this particular action, which made them easier to point out. He just casually walked down the sidewalk, whistling a tune to himself. He then turned into a local pound store, which you followed him into. He looked around, and walked into the aisle containing all of the tool and such. "Ah ha!" You whispered to yourself. "He's probably looking for a murder weapon to kill his next victim with!" Just as he walked towards the tool section, he turned right into...

The bakery section.

You rolled your eyes as you followed him, watching and memorizing all of his movements. He picked out a pair of baking gloves, two bags of chocolate cupcake mix, and a glass bowl. "Ah ha!" You said to yourself. "He's going to poison his victim with arsenic laced cupcakes, smash the glass bowl on their heads to make sure they die, and wear the gloves while he does it so none of fingerprints aren't left at the scene of the crime! What a clever yet sickening plan! I love it!" You secretly took a picture, and followed him to the cash register. As soon as the cashier finished ringing up the man's items, he gave you an odd look. "Do you know that woman?" The cashier asked, pointing towards you. "If you don't, then I can kick her out. We have a strict rules about loiterers, and we don't make any exceptions."

You started to nervously sweat. If the cashier kicked you out, then the criminal would escape, and you would fail your mission, which could result in you being shamed by the Queen and fired from your job. Everything after that particular moment depended on what the man was going to say to the cashier. The man looked over at you, then back at the cashier. "Why, yes." He said. "I do know her. She is my wife. She has a bit of a disability, so she wanders around a lot."

Wait, what did he just say? You were his wife?!! It seemed a bit disgraceful, being called a criminal's spouse, but it was far better than being shamed by Her Majesty. Still, why did he call you his wife? Did he use the wrong word, or maybe, he was one of those pervy foreigners? The man finished paying for his things, and walked over to you. "Come on, honey." He said, sticking his hand out for you grab. "It's time to go home." You gave him an odd look. Why was he doing this for you? Playing along, you took his hand and walked out of the store.

As soon as you exited, you let go of the man's hand, and squeezed a big glob of sanitizer onto your now-dirtied hands. "Why did you do that for me?" You asked. The man didn't respond; he just kept walking. Curious about his motives, you activated the special taser in your glove in case he tried to do anything suspicious, and followed him. "Hey!" You yelled. "Stop walking! I just want to talk to you!" The man still didn't listen to your cries, and walked into a dark cliche alleyway that no one else seemed to notice.

"Wait!" You cried. "Stop right there!" Suddenly, the man stopped, and turned around. "You are probably wondering a lot of thing about me at the moment." He said. "You are probably wondering why I didn't respond to you, or why I saved you from getting kicked out of that pound shop earlier. If you want answers, then follow me. If you want to live a normal life, then go away." He put his hand in his pocket,and waited for your response. Not wanting to disappoint Her Majesty, you decided to follow the mysterious man's tricks. "Alright." You said. "Lead the way." He smiled "You're made a wise decision." He said. He walked over to a cluster of posters behind him, and peeled them back, revealing a set of stairs that led to a door. He opened the door up and walked inside, prompting you to walk inside as well. You put the posters back on behind you, made a note of where the base was located, and opened the door up.