Lost Secrets (BWWM)

Chapter Four

I should've went with my first mind and left last Tuesday where he was. He went from two stars to one in a matter of minutes leaving me unsatisfied and highly pissed off. As soon as he was finished I kicked his aŝs out and deleted his number.

That'll be the last time he wastes my time, it's valuable.

The next time he texts me he's getting hit with the "Who is this?" text, I swear.

Lying in bed, I'm all revved up with nowhere to go. With last Tuesday off the roster I have a spot available and I know exactly who I want to fill it, and me.

Ever since Warin left I've had this insatiable need for him. It's only been a few hours but I've looked at my phone a million times hoping for a text or a call. My insides are in knots waiting for any sign that he's feeling the same way I am. I haven't been this twisted over a guy since high school and I've never been this hooked this fast. It hit me all of the sudden and now I can't shake the feeling.

He was sort of rude but I could tell it was just a defense mechanism because I do the same thing. Even though I know he's a bit prickly, every thought of him sends my heart racing and my breath into unevenness. I've been kicking myself since he left for not getting a hug from him. I want to know what his body feels like pressed against mine. I want to breathe him in and feel his breath against my neck creating a warmth there that glides along my body like fingertips.

My body writhes against the bed at the thought and I clench my thighs together. I can't take this anymore.

An idea crosses my thoughts that hasn't dared enter the halls of my mind in years.

Touch yourself.

I hear the words as clear as day and if I'm not mistaken I hear them in Warin's voice. I must really be tripping hard if I'm hearing his voice in my head like my conscience. I must be tripping even harder if I'm thinking about masturbation. I haven't had to stimulate myself in years, that's what the roster is for.

As I grab my phone to call someone up to scratch this itch the voice comes through once again.

Please.

My breath comes out shakier than I expected as I toy with the thought. Do I really want to possibly waste more time calling someone off the bench? It would be so much easier to take care of myself wouldn't it? I mean, I'm a grown woman. I should not feel uncomfortable with...doing that. Just thinking it makes me break out in a fit of girlish giggles. The idea of it makes my cheeks heat but the thought still lingers in the halls of my mind like a tardy student.

"Calm down Dre, breathe," I coach aloud, "Either you're doing it or you're not." I exhale slowly, closing my eyes as I do so. The voice interrupts my peace with another plea.

Please yourself Andrea. Do it for me.

I groan, knowing full well that the pleading is what's done me in. Even though I've decided, I can't help but feel embarrassed as I mentally prep myself. Quickly I decide to get under the covers, I figure I won't be as ashamed if I'm hidden beneath the shield of blankets.

Cold fingers shock my skin as I slip my panties off. Cupping them to my mouth I blow on them to warm them up before laying back to allow my imagination to run wild.

My fingers glide softly up my body over the thinness of my silk nightgown but in my head it's Warin's hands, rough and thick caressing the outline of my body over the soft material. Easing the straps down my shoulders, my body squirms against the warm air as I imagine it as his heavy body on top of mine – a position I never under any circumstances do but sense it's all fantasy I figure why not. My nipples stand erect waiting for attention as my fingers rub and pinch them lightly, tugging on them ever-so-slightly making me moan.