Within The Lyrics ~ Sequel to My Mentor *Completed*

Twenty. I'm Not Going To Stop

(A/N- I really hope you all like this chapter!  Next update will be Monday!  :)  Thank you again for all of the votes and comments, I really appreciate them!!!  Love to all of you!  xx  )

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My eyes open slowly.  Harry is still clinging to my body as if his life depended on it.  I turn my head to look at the clock.  It’s just shy of eight and the moon is full and shining light into my room.  I need to get up.  My bladder is screaming to be emptied and my stomach is yelling to be filled.  I don’t want to wake him, knowing he probably needs all the rest he can get, so I gently and very slowly lift his arm from my chest while I slide out from under his grasp.

His head lands gently on the mattress and I place his arm down next to him.  He shuffles slightly and that allows me to place a pillow underneath head.  He mumbles something as I stand up from the bed but it was like gibberish and couldn’t be understood.

I stand at the side of the bed and watch him for a few moments.  I’m almost tempted to run my fingers down over his face and along the skin of his exposed back but I refrain; not wanting to take the chance of waking him up.  He is so beautiful and I know in that moment of watching his lips part to release a soft breath that this thing between us isn’t over and it probably never was.  My feelings for him never went away but I pushed them to the back of my mind and developed strong feelings for someone else.

I tip toe out of the room and to the guest bathroom on the main floor.  I then take to the kitchen to see what I can make for a late dinner.  I decide on spaghetti.  It’s easy enough and will be done relatively quickly.

While I am cooking, my mind races with many thoughts.  Harry and I have such a strong history and loved each other so deeply.  I know he is still in love with me and I have so much love for him but I’m still not sure if I am in love with him like I once was. 

I am now allowing myself to fully admit that the feelings for Harry are still there after all this time and I know I need to do as Ryan asked and figure out what those feelings mean but like I told Harry last night; I’m scared to.

I scared because if I explore these feelings I could end up wanting to be with Harry again and that would mean having to give up Ryan and I’m not ready to do that.  I still want to be with him regardless of my feelings for Harry.  Ryan was there for me and supported me throughout the entire ordeal with Harry and never once took advantage of my vulnerability.  I was the one to make the first move on him and even then he repeatedly asked if I was sure.

I care so deeply for Ryan but I understand that it wouldn’t be fair to him for me to stay with him while I have feelings for someone else.  But I am still very much looking forward to being in his arms again next week when I go over to visit him in the states.

A half hour later the food is ready and I set the table for Harry and me.  I place the garlic bread in the center and scoop generous portions of the pasta on each plate.  I fill a glass for each of us with ice water and then stand back and look at what I’ve just done.  I sigh and shake my head thinking that I am a couple drippy candles with a soft glow from the flames away from this being a romantic date.  I push the thoughts away and head back upstairs to my room to wake Harry.

I push the bedroom door open and softly walk towards the bed.  I sit next to him and smile at the soft snores that are leaving his lips.

“Harry” I whisper and lightly rub his shoulder.  He moves slightly but then curls back into himself.  I quietly chuckle.

“Harry”  I lean a little closer to his ear.

“hmmmm” His eyes start to flutter

“Time to wake up.  I cooked us dinner.”  I gently brushed the hair off of his forehead.  It was at this time that he rolled over onto his back.