The Three Struggling Muslimahs

11

Dedicated to Khaulaty18 and nuzaymah

UMMU KHAWLA'S P.O.V:

Ever since my husband passed away (I find it better to think he's passed away than to lie to myself everyday that he's coming back) my family has never been the same. But being the woman that I was, I taught myself to say Alhamdulillah even when it was difficult to find something to be grateful for. But never in all my years did I think that my family would be broken, let alone by myself.

Flashback:
"Muhammaaaaaaaaaaaaad! Hahahahaha. Come back here! What I want to tell you is serious habib. Come on! Don't make me run after youuuuu!" Ummu Khawla shouted as she ran after her ten year old son in their garden. He had always been more mature than his age suggested and for that she counted herself lucky. After about twenty minutes of aimless running and screaming, they both fell to the ground gulping for air. "Subhanallah Muhammad! You will be the death of me." Ummu Khawla regretted those words the second they were out of her mouth.

Muhammad's expression changed and his smiling face was replaced by a frown that could break even the coldest of hearts. "Habib its an expression. I don't literally mean it. It's like how you usually say 'I can eat a whole cow and 50 sandwiches' yet finishing a bowl of cereals is an issue. You understand me?" His mom tried to explain and he nodded as his beautiful smile returned back to his face.

They sat there all so quietly soaking in the sun and watching the different birds soring in the high sky. Ummu Khawla's heart was getting heavier by the second and she knew sooner or later she would have to relay the news to her children but Khawla was running a little too late. As if on cue, she entered through the gates with her Mushaf in her hand and her shoes in the other. She was no ordinary girl. The triplets were with their grandma so it would be a hell lot easier since she'd only have to calm down two of her children.

"Mamaaaaaaaaa!" Khawla shouted as she went to kiss her mom's forehead and offered salaam to both her mom and her brother, "Madrasa was difficult today and the teacher kept asking me to keep still but wallahy mama it was like I knew something bad was going to happen. I'm so happy I was wrong Alhamdulillah!"

Could it ever get any harder? She decided that keeping it in her was a bad decision so after reciting Ayatul Qursi she began. "My babies! I remember when your father and I heard that we were expecting twins. Subhanallah! We were so happy and baba promised to leave the air force as soon as possible. He always said 'How do they expect my babies to grow up without me! No way hozey!" They all laughed as Khawla started tearing up. She knew that if mama had found the strength to talk about baba, something very bad was about to happen. And as she studied her mama's breathing, she was sure she was right.

She eyed Muhammad and he'd also figured it out. After reminiscing about their amazing times for about half an hour or so, Ummu Khawla broke the news to her beautiful children. "My babies, your father's family has misled me in the worst way possible. They asked me to put all his remaining money in a trust fund for your education. But when your school called asking for your fees, I was beyond startled wallahy. The amount was a huge one but I just pray that they use it for halaal means. Money is just but a distraction in this world  my babies so I'm going to ask you to forgive both your uncles and I. Them for lying and me for believing them ever so blindly."

Khawla's heart was burning with hatred and as if she understood, her mom put her hand on her lap and said,"Come on! Say it!" And she did. Audhu Billahy Minashaytani Rajeem! And almost immediately her breath evened out. "That's not all!" Ummu Khawla said making Muhammad cringe.
"We are literally so close to bankruptcy and I fear for you people. Your brothers Alhamdulillah have a scholarship till University since they are all hafidh. I fear for the two of you but we've come up with a solution." Both the children knew they wouldn't like it but they had to listen because their mom was practically their life.

"Baba had two wives. You guys know that right?" Muhammad had already understood loooooong before his mom continued with her statement. "Mama are you serious?  What happened to 'A family that stays together wins together' or 'La Yukallifullahu Nafsan Illa Wus'aha' . Why are you giving up so easily? You think throwing us to Aunty Iman will make our problems easier?" Muhammad's words pierced his mother's heart more than he'd ever know.

"Only one of you was to go." Ummu Khawla whispered ever so softly. That was more than enough to blow Muhammad's head off. "Ho! Ho! Ho! You have got to be joking. She is my twin. We do everything together! C'mon! Tell me you are joking." He said ever so sarcastically. Her 10 year old boy had heard enough!

"MUHAMMAD!" Khawla shouted,"What's gotten into you? Subhanallah! She's your mother! Lower your voice and soften your tone! Ya Allah! You think this is easy on her? You think she wants to give us away?" He just got up and left. "Give us a second mama. I'll be right back and I love you." She said as she ran after him.

He was sitted on his father's favorite rocking chair and by the armrest he had engraved his name with the day they was born. 'Muhammad Nurein Hassan - December 10th 8:30 pm. ♥' and right above it 'Khawla Nurein Hassan - December 10th 8:25 pm.★'
"But you've always told everyone you were older than me." Khawla's voice brought him back to the world of the living.

"Muhammad I don't agree with mama but then you have to understand her wallahy. How will she care for 5 children single handled. Don't worry habib, I'll go." She said hoping to console him.

"You know you are mama's favorite. I would never tear you two apart. Ever! I don't want to leave this house wallahy. I don't want to leave you guys. But if that's what I have to do then I will. But promise me one thing hayaty. We will never drift away from each other. And that we will always go to the same schools." Muhammad said with tears in his eyes.  And as Khawla promised ever so swiftly, she didn't understand that even some promises had to be broken for the betterment of the family. 

CURRENTLY:

As Muhammad walked through the gates of the house, his mother's heart pounded in her chest. The nine years had dragged according to her and seeing her son walk towards her gave her a happiness and a feeling of serenity she didn't think she deserved. Tears found their way down her face. 'Khawla made me emotional, aunty.' She remembered Nusaibah's words but she knew Khawla got that from her.

"Assalamu Aleikum mama. Its been long. And that's all my fault." No other words were said as mother and son hugged each other and got overwhelmed with tears.

Khawla stood by her bedroom window and watched as she was also covered by her own tears. This was a moment she had waited for all too long. And all she could say was Alhamdulillah thumma Alhamdulillah! 

Author's note:
Shukraaaaaaaaan to the two people I have mentioned ↑ there and to NajmaIbrahim98  for being a bigger part of this story than I ever will be. ♥