The Resistance

Chapter 9

As I stood in my closet, I couldn't help but cry. All of my clothes that are hanging up, I can wear those. That's only because they are the newest clothes that I have though. My clothes that are in tubs at the bottom of the closet... I couldn't put them on even if I wanted to. They don't fit.

My self hate has been really strong lately. Because of that, my relationships are failing. Some big girls... you can't tell them that they aren't fine as fuck. If anybody called them fat, they would probably just do a model walk and ignore the hate. Their confidence is through the roof, and nobody at all can tell them they aren't good enough.

I used to fluctuate. There would be days were I'm perfectly fine with myself. Makeup on point. Hair always poppin. I didn't always have the cutest outfits, but I rocked them as if they were. Now, I'm stuck in that negative mood. I don't want to be like that. It's not fair to the people around me.

I'm the one who created the distance between Mikayla and I. She is my little sister, and she is fifteen. She is entering high school now. High school is a time where a person begins to find themselves. They start getting exposed to new things. As I said before, she is a smart girl. Book smart that is. She can be easily influenced though. That's why she is always hanging out with her friends. That's why she was always hanging out with her boyfriend. I had a bad feeling about him, so I'm glad he finally chose to leave her alone. I don't want to see her do anything stupid.

Jahmir is the one who created the distance between us. I completely understand why though. He loves photography. He loves modeling. He loves poetry, even though he tries to keep that one secret. He has a life of his own to live. He can't always be around me. I need to try and understand that. I do, I just... I don't know.

I found a basic pair of black leggings and a black tanktop. As for shoes, I put on a pair of black sandals.

"KAELYNN! MIKAYLA! CAN YOU COME DOWN HERE?" I heard my mom.

No, I didn't want to see Mikayla right now, but I had to go see what mom wanted. Didn't want her to accuse me of acting funny too.

Kayla and I came out of our rooms at the same time. She rolled her eyes at me then proceeded to walk right past me. I'm going to apologize, just not yet. I don't know what to say.

Kayla and I both slowed our pace when we saw our dad standing in the living room. We haven't seen him since the beginning of the year. I don't know about Kayla, but I haven't actually talked to him since then either. He tries to reach out on the holidays, but I usually don't reply.

A daddy's girl is something that I have never been. I was always more drawn to mommy. At least before I turned a certain age. The age were I began getting more self conscious. The age where I realized both of them love Kayla more.

Their precious Kayla can do no wrong.

"Daddy!"

Kayla ran over to him and gave him a hug. She's the daddy's girl.

"Hey Kayla. How are you?"

"I'm better now daddy." She smiled.

"Hey Kaelynn."

I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes.

For the life of me, I can't understand why I don't like him. I haven't for as long as I can remember. It kind of bothers me that I am this way, but I don't know how I can change how I feel about him.

"Why are you here?"

"I'm happy to see you too sweetheart." He chuckled. "But umm, maybe you girls should sit down. Your mother and I have something to talk to you about."

Kayla sat down first. I attempted to sit beside her and she didn't move. Probably just so dad won't ask her what's going on.

"Well, I know I said it would be a while longer, but I had to change doctors. The doctor I had before just seemed... off. Through changing doctors, I found out that I'm three weeks and a few days further than we thought."

Kayla's smile left her face. I'm sure she wants to know why he's here for this too. I'm still not understanding.

"So how does dad come into all of this?"

Glad she asked. I didn't want to.

"Do you want to know that first, or the gender of the baby."

"Why dad's here."

"Gender of the baby."

We looked at each other briefly then we looked at them.

"Since Kaelynn is older she can get her answer first." Dad deeply exhaled. "You know how you two have one whole sibling and two half siblings?"

Right. He went and had two boys with some other woman. My so called step mother. I don't like her though. She has never made an effort to get to know us.

"Yeah..." Kayla answered.

"Well now... it'll be even." Dad said with an unsure look on his face. He probably don't know how we will react.

"Two whole siblings, two half siblings. Three girls and two boys." Mom stated.

Kayla got up and started hugging them both. She seemed to be excited.

I stood up and attempted to walk away.

"Kaelynn aren't you going to say anything?"

I looked over at her. "What am I supposed to say? What's done is done. Dad cheated on his wife and got you pregnant. Should I be happy about that?"

"Sweetheart..."

I turned to my dad. "No, don't sweetheart me. Are Kayla and I supposed to think that it's okay to get with a married man? Should we be okay with being second best to a woman who only wants a man for his money?"

None of them said anything. I can't even deal with being in the same room for them right now. I have to get out here.