Starry Night Thoughts

Words #fright#phobias

Why can't everything be quiet?

Don't they understand? I need silence. I crave silence.

The sound of everyone speaking sounds like claws on a chalkboard. Their words. Can't they keep them to themselves? My family doesn't understand. Won't understand, can't understand.

I need silence.

Walking down a busy street pains me. The noise doesn't bother me. Never will. Even as I'm standing at the corner of Fifth Street and Main Street, the noise doesn't bother me.

It's their words. Their conversations.

That's what terrifies me.

I want to scream out at them, telling them to stop.

I can't. I can't speak. I won't speak. Then I'll be saying the things I fear most. Then I'll be saying words.

Having conversations.

Talking.

That paralyzes me in fear. I can't ever speak. I won't. I refuse to.

Words.

The yell of somebody makes me flinch. Must he? Can't he stay silent? Can't he be quiet?

Why can't everybody just SHUT UP!

It's sickening. They speak happily. They write happily. Even their thoughts are happy.

Their thoughts.

Thoughts.

I hadn't thought of that, even after so many years.

My thoughts. I can think. I'm not silent. I'm as loud as they are.

The words are inside me too.

I can't stop thinking. I need to stop. I can't stop. My brain is in overdrive.

I. Need. Silence!

Words terrify me. Words are in me. They're in me.

My thoughts.

My breath quickens. I need to stop this. I need to stop this.

Make it stop.

Why won't it stop?

I can't turn my brain off. I can't stop thinking. I need everyone to be silent, to stop their horrifying words. Their voices.

"SHUT UP!"

I clap my hands over my mouth in terror, aware of what just happened.

I spoke.

Words.

I clutch at my ears, trying to stop the voices from entering my brain. They want me to hush. How ironic. They need to hush. This is their fault.

They won't be silenced.

I laugh. Why not? I've already spoken. The people around me speak. They think. I can think. I can't stop the words.

What can give me silence?

What is silent?

Death.

Death is silent.

I need death.

I smile and take my hands away from my ears.

Death, I can do.

I step into the middle of the busy street. Something hits me from the side. Pain shoots throughout my body when I hit the pavement.

Everything is ringing, blocking out the words.

Ah, bliss.

Now I just need to stop thinking.

People gather around me. Their mouths are moving. Why won't they stop talking? Why won't they stop thinking?

Don't they want this blissful silence too?

I close my eyes. This is nice. I don't feel people near me anymore, touching me, telling me I'll live with their lying words. There is no pain.

There are no more words.

There are no more words where I am now. Where I went after I died. Just screams.

No words.