I Think I've Had Enough

Chapter 89:Lose Our Troubles Because After All It's Christmas Time

Patrick and Ellen sat across from Emilee as she ate her cereal. She seemed happy, rested but they both couldn't look away from her. Her spoon clinked against the bowl as she took her last bite. Emilee looked up, her eyebrows raised. She sighed, "Why are you both staring at me!" Her voice mature.

They immediately looked away from her and then Ellen looked back, "We just want to make sure you are ok."

"I'm fine," Emilee said firmly.

"You sure..." Patrick joined the conversation, "It was pretty scary."

Emilee shrugged, "They're just photographers," she stumbled over the word. "They're interested because they like you."

"Yeah," Ellen nodded, "But that doesn't give them a right to scare you like that."

Emilee nodded, "It was scary but we're ok." She paused for a second while her eyes wavered back and forth between them. "Dad..." she began, "Are you living here again?"

There it was again. Hearing her call him Dad set his heart on fire. It was more casual, even a little attitude filled. "No," he felt saddened by his answer, "I just wanted to make sure you were ok."

"And Mom was ok..." Emilee squinted her eyes at him as she waited for his reaction.

Ellen too melted at hearing her say Mom but she laughed and stood up, "well, she's definitely your daughter." Emilee giggled. "You better go get dressed little one."

"Ugh," Emilee rolled her eyes, "Fine. but Princess clothes count, right?" She disappeared from her table.

Patrick watched Ellen as she took Emilee's bowl to the sink. He admired her casual beauty. "So much attitude all the sudden," Ellen laughed without looking up at him.

He crossed the room to be next to her, "She's definitely your daughter." Ellen looked up from the sink realizing he was now leaning against the counter next to her. "You fell asleep last night..." He whispered.

Ellen laughed lightly, "So did you!"

"It was a long day," Patrick smiled and squeezed Ellen's waist.

She let herself fade into him and then she sighed, "Chris is dropping Stella off in about an hour."

Patrick mirrored her sigh, "That would be a fun reunion."

"Especially if he's seen the news," Ellen continued his fun.

Patrick twisted Ellen's waist so that she was facing him. He kissed her forehead. "I'll go home handle things with Jill and then I'll bring our Christmas tree and some dinner."

There was a stillness in the way she stared up at him. They had done it a million times but it never seemed ordinary. "Okay," she agreed.

It was in that stillness that Ellen felt a strange mix of clarity and blindness. She was lost in him. Her mind replayed his words as she embraced his eyes. Jill, her thoughts were stuck on her. She hadn't really had time to think about her in this chaos but her thoughts were heavy now. Ellen wondered how Jill was handling all of this. How would she handle the divorce? Would she be surprised to know that they had rekindled this old flame?

There are some words that stay with you, not because they are so well said but because of the feeling they leave behind. A whole book of these words swirled through Jillian's head. Her coffee was stronger this morning and for good reason.

You spend 10 years playing opposite her and tell me it doesn't feel real. Her hands tingled around the warm cup as his most recent truth sped anxiously through her mind. It quickly opened the floodgates and the rest followed. It was magic. It's beautiful.... We're like a married couple. It's 10 years, and it was magic from the beginning.

Jillian could almost see his teary eyes as he spoke these words. "Magic," she covered the word in bitterness. Her eyes are alive - they pull you in. She's truthful, emotional, intelligent, and real. She doesn't overanalyze things, but if she has something to say, you listen cause she's probably right. All these guys I know are completely in love with her. That one was enough to make Jill's coffee turn in her stomach. He was completely in love with her. How could she ever compete with a woman that was perfection in his eyes?

Ellen had said once in an interview that Patrick needed discipline that he craved structure. Is that all she had been to him... someone to keep him in line? The person who stood in the way of what he really wanted? She had spent so long fighting for him that she forgot to notice what he was fighting for.

The quick beep from the intercom notified Jillian that someone was home. She heard the gate close behind him. How did a wife handle something like this? The years of her reactions to these words echoed in her mind. They had always been the same. Jillian knew that this was something that would pass, just the way it had seven years ago. It would take longer but they would work through it. She knew that the media was something would have to deal with eventually. Emilee couldn't be kept a secret forever.

Jillian stared out at the back yard realizing that she would handle it the way she always had. She would give him the structure he needed which would in turn make her feel safer and then she would let the truth get lost somewhere.

The front door opened. She heard his footsteps into the living room and then, "Hey."

Jill didn't turn around to face him. She could hear his weight shift from foot to foot. "Your family was all over the news this morning," her voice bitter. "It was comforting to know that it wasn't just us you are embarrassing in the media."

"Jill," he began.

"Don't," She shut him off instantly, turning to face him for the first time. "What were you thinking?" Their conversation was starting to escalate, "Are we supposed to feel supported... because right now I'm feeling like you don't give a shit." She was emotional, "You leave mid conversation yesterday and then you think the best thing you should do is go on a date with Ellen and your bastard daughter?"

"Don't call her that." Patrick was firm.

"Well that's what everyone else is thinking this morning."

"It was a dumb thing to do. I should have never taken them there. I'm sorry, I put everyone in a very bad situation."

"And not coming home last night?" Jillian was sharp, "Did you just think, hey now that everyone knows maybe we should start screwing again."

"I was making sure they were ok," he was giving in to the passive man he had been all of these years.

"Who was making sure we were ok?" Jillian shot back at him.

"It wasn't on the news until this morning," Patrick's words were quiet, "That's why I'm here now."

"Sure," Jillian threw her hands in the air.

"Jill," he stood, "Let's just get through Christmas, Ok?" There was something in his tone that made her question what came after Christmas. Was this time really different? Had the stakes changed for him? She nodded quietly, sinking to the closest chair. "Did the kids see the news?"

"Just Tallulah," Jill answered.

Patrick nodded, "I'll talk to her." He disappeared up the stairs to knock on his teenage daughter's door. It was still a little early but he thought she would be up.

"Come in," her voice calm, collected. He cracked the door open, waiting for a violent reaction once she realized it was him. "Hey," a little smile on her face as she made her bed. "Not sure if going out yesterday after that photo leak was great for you..."

Patrick's brow furrowed. She was handling this rather lightly. "It was stupid," he joined her lightness. "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you."

"You didn't," Tallulah was suddenly on his side, "You already apologized for your mistake. I'm not going to make you apologize for having a public relationship with Emilee."

"T," his voice buttery, "You don't have to handle this so well."

Tallulah stopped what she was doing and turned to look at him, "Regardless of who you were sleeping with," her words surprised him, "You were there for us, even when you had the world on your shoulders. Emilee deserves that too."

"Thank you," Patrick pulledher into his arms, emotion building in his eyes. "Thank you," he spoke again.This was the reassurance he had needed this morning.