I Think I've Had Enough

Chapter 20: Cause they say the best way out is through

Ellen took a few steps toward Patrick. The amazement on her face dissolved when she saw Patrick's expression. Emilee walked a few steps behind Ellen until she saw Kate slowly walk out of her trailer. Kate had watched the events unfold from the window. Wanting to give the long lost lover's some space, Kate gestured Emilee over. "You okay?" she whispered softly to Emilee.

"Yes," Emilee whispered back nodding lightly. She couldn't take her eyes off of Patrick and Ellen. "He still loves her you know..." Emilee whispered softly without looking at Kate. "I don't think he knows it yet," her tiny voice sounded so wise, "but I can tell."

Patrick shook away the warm fuzzy feeling in his stomach and let the bitterness quickly replace it. Ellen approached him, "What are you doing here?" he said sharply.

"I was coming to see Kate." Ellen said softly, baffled by the coincidence "What are you doing here?" Her hands were still shaking with emotion.

"We were coming to see Kate," he said strongly as if Kate was their property, as if Ellen wasn't allowed to see Kate.

"Patrick I didn't know you were going to be here." Ellen said calmly trying to defend herself. Her face pinched with emotion as she realized he was truly upset with her for being there.

"Sure you didn't." he paced a few steps away from her and then back again, "I said I would talk to her," his voice louder. He shifted his weight nervously, "and I did. I talked to her and she wanted to meet you but on our terms." He said firmly looking to Emilee. "On our terms," he repeated himself and pointed an angry finger in Ellen's face.

"Come on Patrick," she looked at him like he was crazy. "How would I know you were going to be here? Am I not allowed to come see an old friend?"

"No," he shook his head, "Not when we are going to be here. You are not allowed to come anywhere close."

"What? Are you going to turn this into a custody battle?" Ellen said keeping up with his anger, but still trying to rub in that he was overreacting.

"If I have to," Patrick's voice was acidic.

"Jesus, Patrick," Ellen said giving into him, "Fine," her voice cracked with emotion. "You win. I'm the bad guy." She lowered her voice, stepping closer to him, "I made a mistake, one of the biggest of my life but I can't make this right if you don't let me. I gave her up once. I'm not going to make that mistake again." Ellen stormed away from him and back toward Ellen and Kate.

Emilee's eyes sparkled up at Ellen as she came closer. The expression on Emilee's face looked just like one Ellen had seen on Patrick for years. It set off strange fluttering in Ellen's stomach. "Miss Ellen," Emilee said nervously. She couldn't fight the force drawing her to Ellen. It was like a piece of her had been missing. Since the day she was born, a piece of her had been missing. The large void in her heart had been filled by the mere presence of Ellen. Emilee would never understand it because she had loved her adoptive mother very much. Jennifer had loved her as much as any mother could. Jennifer was all she needed. She would have been all she would ever need if that car crash ended differently. But Ellen was different. It was like she could see into Emilee's soul without effort. And for a moment, as Emilee looked up into Ellen's eyes she could feel the weight of grief lifted off of her chest. "Miss Ellen," she said again, "Would you like to come over for dinner?"

An enchanted smile spread across Ellen's face as she studied the glow in Emilee's eyes. "I would like that very much," She crouched down to be at Emilee's level. "But I think maybe you should talk to Patrick about it first."

Emilee, shook her head, "Uht uh, he already said yes." She smiled, "he can't take it back now."

Ellen laughed, "Is that so?" she said lightly turning to look at Patrick. Patrick sighed loudly and rolled his eyes at Ellen.

"Not tonight," Patrick said stubbornly.

"Patrick," Kate mocked his stubborn tone.

He sighed again loudly, shooting Kate a death stare. "Fine. Six o'clock. Don't be late." His words were still sharp and bitter.

Emilee's face lit up with excitement. Ellen couldn't take her eyes off of her. She was utterly enthralled in her daughter's eyes. It was painful and wonderful all at the same time. She had regained the one thing she should have never given away. "I'll see you later okay?" Ellen said softly.

"Do you promise?" Emilee's little voice stung right to Ellen's heart. Ellen felt the tears building up in her eyes as she swallowed down the emotion in her throat.

"I promise." Ellen gazed into Emilee's eyes, reassuring her with everything she had. She then looked to Kate, "I'm sorry. We'll catch up another time..."

"Don't worry," Patrick said jaggedly, "she'll be coming tonight."

"What?" Kate asked in surprise, "No, its fine I-,"

"You, will be coming." Patrick said demandingly. "You don't get a say."

Kate sighed, "Okay then," she looked to Ellen, "I will see you tonight. I'll be the one chained to a chair in the backyard." Ellen laughed a huffy sad laugh, tousling Emilee's hair before she walked away. When she was a few yards away from them she looked back. Emilee stared back at her, a sweet smile stretched across her face. After a moment, she disappeared around the corner. "I'm not coming." Kate said firmly. Emilee skipped into Kate's trailer to find the hidden stash of candy.

"Yes you are," Patrick spit back at her.

"No, no I'm not." Kate said.

"Why?" he questioned her.

"Because it's weird!" she said frantically, "It's like third wheel hell!"

"No its not," Patrick insisted.

"Yes it is. I'm not going to sit there while you make angry sex eyes at each other and try to get to know you're love child."

Patrick was immediately irritated at the idea of looking at Ellen that way. He resented Kate for saying such a thing, "Right because that's what you do to the woman who gave away your daughter, make sex eyes at her."

"Don't be grouchy."

"What the hell am I supposed to be then Kathleen!"

Kate laughed, "did you just call me Kathleen?"

"Yes." A shitty grin broke on his face. His McDreamy eyes twinkled.

"Stop it you are trying to distract me." Kate threw her hands in the air, "tell me you don't have feelings for her still..." she said trying to prove him a liar. And then his playfulness disappeared.

"Stop it," he said firmly in a voice that almost scared her. "It's too soon." A long moment of silence passed, "She gave my daughter away, without even informing me of her existence." He steadied his stance. "I hate her. I hate her for what she's done to me. To Emilee." His face twisted bitterly. "Those are the feelings I have."

Kate wasn't sure how to respond. She sighed lightly. Another long moment passed, "so do you know my middle name too?"

"Erin," he said without hesitation. His face was still completely serious. He wouldn't let the playfulness break through yet. He was still reeling over her comment.

"Damn," Kate nodded. "You are good."

She sighed loudly, "No," he laughed softly shaking his head, "Emilee looked you up on IMDB this morning."

"Ah, cheaters," Kate shook her head with a smile.

Patrick gazed into Kate's eyes for a moment. He was very thankful that she was around. He wouldn't have been able to do any of this without her. He returned the sparkling smile she gave him. For a second he wished it was her that he had been in love with for all of these years. If it had been, he knew things wouldn't have ended badly. But he didn't love her that way, and he never would. His cell phone vibrated in his hand. He looked down, watching his wife's phone number flash across the screen. He clicked ignore.