January 1, 2017
I fucked up.
Big time.
I mean, i never actually expected this to happen.
I never expected myself to like you,
or want to kiss you,
or heaven forbid...
Love you.
But i do.
I want you to kiss me,
to keep holding me,
to wrap me in your arms
tightly and then hold me even closer
when i tell you that you make me feel safe.
But you have someone else.
Someone who makes you happy.
I'm not jealous either,
since, you know,
i only just met you this year and she's been with you for a long time.
Yet i feel shitty,
because i still have this small,
small,
small,
minuscule piece of hope,
lingering inside of me.
Wishing that you could be my first kiss.
I love you.
A lot, actually.
It's scary that i feel like this.
Because i shouldn't but i do and i really,
really,
really
hate myself for it.
I'm never going to be happy,
and i think this proves it.
Loving someone you can't have sucks,
and it will always hurt.
But i love you.
I love you,
I love you,
I love you.
Please stay.
