XXXIV. A Poetic Justice

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July 22, 1993Los Angeles, California

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July 22, 1993
Los Angeles, California

Eddie tiredly moped through my place looking for his jacket. Lisa hooked him all up with a phat ass wardrobe to pick from for tonight's premiere but he insisted on wearing his favorite jacket on top of everything. "Wake up, baby boy! This is my life!" I laugh as Phi applies an eye-brightening layer of concealer to the fading circles under my eyes. I've been sleeping more but the cucumbers aren't working fast enough. "You wanted to live the rockstar life and that means you get the rockstar sleep," I tease.

"Man, bump all that shit." He sighs, plopping onto my bed with a huff larger than his initial sigh. "Meeting Michael Jackson? Cool. Having Tupac at my birthday party? Dope. Partying until at the ass crack of dawn then jumping off a jet to sleep for three hours just to wake up and get dressed for some shit that doesn't start for another five hours? That's why y'all go bonkers."

I laugh from my end of the room. "You need to watch your damn mouth." I took the responsibility of taking on Uncle Dorian's catch phrases as he dresses himself in his separate unit surrounded by his newfound immediate family. My new baby cousin, Kimberly, was brought into this world in May. I'm ecstatic because there aren't a lot of girls on my father's side of the family. We need some more girls over there. I have to teach somebody to how to do their make-up.

"How long are we about to be here?"

"Eddie, you don't have to go if you don't want to. I can go alone." I laugh as Phi moves onto applying my eyeliner, the rest of my face nearly finished with an exception for the minor details. "Because I'll be out all night tonight."

Eddie's face lights up. He sits up in a rush of excitement. "You mean I can stay here and sleep the whole time until you get back?" The hope taking over his stare is one of a young man in love with a concept. Laughing, I shoot him a thumbs up.

I also take this time to think of a way to tell him the news. I'd hate to kill his mood but I've been stalling for days.

When we return to Chicago, we're going to be forced into attending family therapy. I'll be bouncing back and forth between New York and home as my Christmas album remains unfinished— and because I got a man now— and that'll leave him having to spend his days underneath Aaliyah or Uncle Dorian. I doubt he'll want to stay with Uncle Dorian and Maria though. Since they've been so focused on Kimberly, they moved further away from the city and deeper into the suburbs.

"Eddie, I just want to tell you... When we go back things'll be a little different."

He shakes his head with dramatic disappointment in his body language. "Aw, shit! Y'all putting me up for adoption?"

"No!"

Rolling over to take his shoes off, Eddie optimistically questions. "I get to live with one of y'all?"

"No. Actually, I don't know because mom is still saying you can't come back." He blows air through his lips,  falling back on my bed as I carefully pick my words. I know Eddie doesn't care if he goes back home to my parents. We all know my mother's lost it but I can't give him weightless hope for freedom. "I know she's acting like she's freebasing but that's why we're going to family therapy," I tell him. "Family therapy, meaning we're all going."

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