Fire and Flame [Iroh II x OC]

Chapter 64: Memories

Saira's P.O.V

We were now at the dinner after the funeral. Friends and family were sitting on different small tables. Or better said the high society. It was as if we were in a restaurant. I was sitting next to Iroh who was chatting with General Asuma. Zuko and Ilah were already asleep because it was past their bedtime. I hated events like this. It was a surreal world, people hiding their real lifes from others and talking behind others backs. Everything was just a facade and I wondered when all this was going to end. I hated these formalities. I hated showing off how rich and wealthy we were. That I married Iroh, made everything worse. I felt as if I was living in a golden cage. People would look at me an be jealous of my life but they wouldn't know what I sacrificed and how ugly the life inside the cage was. I was feeling like a puppet, that would do anything its puppeteer wanted it to do. I was a figure, a role model. Playing the happy wife and mother, loved by millions. Little girls wanted to be like me, young girls wanted to be like me. While I wanted to be like them. Free and independent. Every day I was screaming for help but no one ever heard me. I was trapped. Trapped in a fancy little world with fake people, fake smiles and fake lifes, including me. I wasn't better than them. No, I was worse.
My eyes wandered around the hall and captured a little girl, maybe two years older than Zuko, who was placing a napkin like a grown woman on her lap. She looked proudly at her mother but she didn't give her any attention. That little girl reminded me of myself when I was younger. I thought that I left this life behind me but I didn't. I wished I could run away but I couldn't. Not anymore. I was not the little girl that could do whatever it wanted.
The only reason why I continued this life was Iroh. And our children, not to forget.
Soon the waiter brought us our starters and at first sight, I knew I was not going to eat this. I bet this little starter cost hundreds but it didn't even fit on the spoon, that small it was.
Iroh was still chatting with General Asuma and I decided to leave all this. Without saying a word, I raised and was about to walk away, when Iroh grabbed my hand. He looked into my eyes then his wandered down my body and the up to my eyes again. I didn't know what emotion was passing his face, it was incredibly difficult to read.

"You haven't eaten."

"Neither have you."

"Where are you going?"

"Taking some rest."

"Alright. I will be there in some time."

"You don't have to. Just enjoy your evening."

I let go of his hand and walked out of the dinner hall to my old bedroom. I didn't know how rude I was to other people, I just wanted to get out of here.
When I reached it, I immediately walked to my library and pushed it aside a little. Then I opened the small door behind it and took out my memory box. I put it on the bed carefully and pushed the library back on its place.

I opened the box and immediately noticed a picture. It was one of me when I was six years old and a boy. I remembered the day as if it was yesterday.

"Saira stop moving! Your hair isn't done!"

"But mommy! It looks beautiful!"

"No, it doesn't! Fire Lord Zuko and his grandson, Prince Iroh are visiting us today."

"I don't care mommy! They are humans as well! They are nothing special!"

Mommy let out a sigh and took my face in her hands:"I know, little rose. But Prince Hayao is daddy's best friend-"

"Why do I have to go? Why can't Taemin or Sarina go?"

"Because you are the oldest, my dear. Taemin and Sarina are only four years old and you are a grown girl, Saira."