exploring sexuality | camren

chapter 16

This time as Lauren rode in Lucy's motorcycle, she didn't take in the air on her face, instead she let it hit her face like a hard cold slap.

Lucy looked at her in worry but continued driving until the got to the destination, Camila's house. Once they reached the familiar house that Lauren had visited to hundreds of times, she felt her stomach drop to her knees. It didn't feel the same anymore as it did years ago. She thanked Lucy, giving her a tight hug and walked towards Camila's door.

After ringing the doorbell and hearing Lucy's motorcycle speed away, Lauren realized that she hadn't even gotten Lucy's number. She was sad to see her go.

After a few seconds Sinu opened the door. Her eyes widened in surprise, but she let her in without saying any words. Lauren just walked up the familiar stairs and knocked on Camila's bedroom door. She hadn't told her that she was coming over, so Camila wasn't expecting her.

After a minute of debating wether she should just make a break for it and just leave; Camila finally opened the door, making Lauren's heart stop. They both stood speechless unaware that each others presence would feel like a cold brick of ice water. Neither of them were sure on what to say or what to do.

Camila licked her lips and looked at Lauren's familiar face that she had once stared at every night as she stood in front of her. She spoke first.

"You're here."

"I am," Lauren replied roughly, she was surprised at how mean her voice sounded, so was Camila.

"Do you want to come in?"

Lauren walked into her room and sat on the edge of the bed. Camila's room was messy, with clothes thrown everywhere and suitcases spread around. She had a guitar sprawled on her bed and it was obviously that Camila was writing a song by the notebook and pencil beside it.

Camila took a seat besides her, leaving enough space, but not too much that she could smell Lauren's scent and be close enough in case.

"So I know you're here because-"

"Stop," Lauren interrupted raising a hand. "I came here with the mentality that I was going to fight and argue with you, but i'm tired Camila. I am so tired. I'm tired of not understanding. I'm tired of being a cause of something gone wrong. I'm tired of others controlling my life." 

"I'm sorry i'm making it harder," Camila said softly.

"Why would you leave? Were we just your plan B this whole time?" Lauren asked harshly.

"No!" Camila exclaimed. "You guys never were. But you're a victim of all the verbal abuse we go through every day too Lauren. I had enough of it. Especially after they split us away, I had more of a reason to leave."

"I can't believe what i'm hearing. Don't you dare use what we had as a reason to abandon the people who stood by your side by years.. For what? A solo career?"

"No, Lauren! For solitude. For freedom. Yes, I have a solo career out of it now, but that wasn't what pushed me. It was the way everything was handled and treated."

"So you chose to run away from your problems huh?" Lauren spat.

"Look who's talking! What about those times were I knocked on your door desperately in the middle of the night to talk? You never opened, yet you were always online. I tried Lauren, I truly did. I always found ways to sneak away to you, but you always slammed the door in my face. You want to talk about giving up? Talk to yourself, you're the master at it."

"I didn't give up!" Lauren argued. "I just followed directions because this group mattered to me. Obviously it didn't to you!"  

"Thats not fair, Lauren..." Camila replied shakily on verge of tears. "I never meant to hurt anyone."