[17.] Return to Reality

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[17] Return To Reality

As I stared out the window of the bullet train, I gazed up at the limpid, azure sky and wondered what new worries would be awaiting me once I arrived at the Academy. I secretly wished the extent of my upcoming responsibilities matched the number of clouds in the sky: zero. Not a single streak of white stood out against the crystal blue. It was so serene, unlike my troubled conscience. I wanted to sprout wings and fly to it.

Astrid sat next to me, asleep with her head resting on my shoulder and an open book in her motionless hands. A day had passed since my father’s funeral, and we were finally heading back to Starfleet to return to our studies. I sighed, knowing that the phrase “falling behind” was an understatement in comparison to what my workload was going to be upon my return. I hadn’t kept up with my classes while I was in San Diego. I didn’t have the heart to. At least Astrid is in the same boat with me, I thought unconvincingly. I mean, sure, she was in the same situation as I was, but that meant that she would be feistier than usual. And that was not very good news for me.

I don’t know when I fell asleep, but one moment I was admiring the heavens, and the next, I was jolting awake as the train came to a stop. Astrid snorted and sat up quickly, her back ramrod straight. Groaning dramatically, she dragged a hand across her face and flipped her ponytail over her shoulder before closing her book and stuffing it into her purse.

“Ready?” she asked me.

I hesitated. “Not really.”

She frowned. “Me either. Guess we’re jus’ gonna ‘ave ta deal with it, huh?”

I sulked. “Yes.”

“C’mon,” she directed. “Time ta go home.”

Home. That was such a weird word for me now. Half of me felt like home was still in San Diego, in my house with all of the memories that dwelled there. Half of me felt like home was in my room at Starfleet, with its sleek surfaces and small bathroom and its cluttered coziness. My heart was torn between the two. I didn’t know where my home was anymore. I nodded my head in agreement nonetheless.

            It was Friday afternoon, which meant that Astrid and I had all weekend to catch up. I figured that we would spend every waking moment of the next 60 something hours with our noses buried in textbooks and our lips glued to an endless supply of coffee cups. I took a glance at Astrid. She looked exhausted, as I’m sure I did. I moped some more. We had a long, trying, interesting weekend ahead of us.

            Once we reached our room, Astrid and I collapsed onto the beds, completely unmotivated to do anything but lie there like vegetables.

“We’ve got to work,” I sighed after twenty minutes had passed.

“Can’t we jus’ fail?” she whined.

“No,” I replied adamantly.

“Whyyy?” she mewled.

“Believe me, Ast, I don’t like the idea any more than you do,” I coaxed, “but if we don’t get all this work finished, our time at Starfleet is not going to end well.”

She groaned melodramatically and slid off the bed and onto the floor.

“I’ll go get some coffees,” I said, standing. “What would you like?”

“The strongest thing ya can get. I’ll star’ workin’ now.”

“Alright. Be back soon.”

“Mkay.”

As I gathered up my purse, she crawled extravagantly over to her desk and pulled herself into the chair. I couldn’t help but laugh as the door shut behind me. After locking it, I made my way to the coffee shop across the street, taking the quickest route that I could. As much as I didn’t want to work, I was anxious to get back so I could start. The stress was weighing on me a little too much for my liking.

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