Never Crossed My Mind (boyxboy)

Chapter Fourteen

"The only reason I wasn't thrown into the padded room is because you and some other person said that he started it, not me." I didn't even flinch as Mason shuffled over to my bed and lifted the covers, lying next to me. "I'm not allowed out for a month, though. It's a lot better than three years, I guess."

Mason was quiet, so I just kept talking.

"They switched my therapist, again. This is the fourth one I've had since I got here. They said that I'm not making any progress with her, so they switched me to another. Her name is Anna. I've only met her once." I exhaled. "Therapy is stupid. My first therapist was an asshole, too. Ugh, I hated him."

"Irritated?" He looked up from the sheet he was reading from, where I'd circled the word 'irritated' under how I was feeling that day. "Why are you feeling irritated, Sam?"

"Because this entire thing is stupid!" I seethed. "This isn't going to fix anything!"

He cocked his head to the side. "Why would you think self harm is stupid? It's very serious."

I clenched my fists. "I know that! But I never even self harmed until I came here!"

He ignored me. "I think you're cutting yourself to relieve some of the anxiety you feel. You express yourself through," he made a swiping motion at his arm, "cutting. I think I've met you enough times to see that you aren't depressed, you're just anxious, I think, and you're prone to anger."

"You've met me three times!" I hissed, angry beyond words. "You don't know me!"

He wrote something down in his notebook. "Social Anxiety is hardly uncommon, and is treatable."

My blood boiled. "You aren't listening. It doesn't all come down to Social Anxiety, because it's only in class. During the summer it isn't so bad, but I've still done it. All I was saying is that I am irritated because therapy is stupid, and is not going to fix anything. I don't like talking to people, so stop making me!"

"This isn't stupid, Sam. Connection and talking is the way to recovery, and what you're doing is far from stupid. It's dangerous."

"Stop putting words in my mouth! I never said self harm was stupid, I said that therapy is stupid." I kicked at the floor to emphasize my frustration.

"He was such a dick." I sighed.

"Sounds like it," Mason agreed.

"You're going to get out of here," I told him. "They won't keep you here forever. The only thing they have on you is that you tried to kill yourself because you were being bullied. That's it. You only take two pills; an anti-depressant and a light sedative at night. They can't keep you here."

"They can't keep you here, either." He stared at me with sad eyes.

I leaned my head against his shoulder, and he leaned his cheek against my head. "Yes, they can. They have me on anti-psychotics and a variety of others. I'm not getting out of here any time soon."

"They can't keep you here once you turn eighteen," he argued.

"They can if they deem me unfit to be in the public."

"You aren't," he whispered.

I looked up at him. "According to them, I am. I've screwed up too many times for them to just let me out because I'm legally an adult. It's their word against mine."

"And mine," he said. "I bet there are plenty of people here who would argue."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, because a bunch of psych ward patients against a bunch of doctors and security guards would really go over well."

"Maybe not," Mason remarked, "but if you show noted improvement within two years then they'll have to let you out."

"They'll think I'm acting."

"Well," he said, "I'm not leaving here without you."

He closed the distance between us and attached his lips to mine, shocking me for a moment before I melted against him, not even thinking that a nurse could walk in at any moment.

He pulled away first, gasping for breath. He blushed. "I-I.."

"Why'd you do that?" I panted.

His face turned pained. "Sorry, I didn't...I don't..."

I kissed him again to shut him up, but soon his hands were in my hair and our teeth were clashing. He poked his tongue into my mouth shyly. I went along with it, and he quickly grew confident and took over, obviously enjoying his dominance. Strangely, I didn't mind.

We pulled away for breath, our lips lingering, before reconnecting when we had sucked in air. He pulled me onto his lap, and I didn't object.

It lasted nearly ten minutes before we pulled back for more than a few seconds of air. We pressed our foreheads together and just watched the other, hearts beating fast and lips swollen.

"Wow," Mason gasped.

"Yeah," I panted, "wow." I reconnected our lips.