Every Little Thing

Chapter Fourteen

Saturday, November 23rd, 2013

My dearest Eric, 

            Hello baby. I don’t really know how to start this. He hasn’t let me see you since that day. He took you to Texas the minute he could, from what Claire could figure out. Kate called me twice, telling me about your night terrors and how you’re coping. She told me about how you’re getting better; everyday a new burst of energy finds its way through your body. She told me about your wheelchair and the physiotherapy. I even tried showing up to the first few, but he made sure Jake was there to stop me from seeing you. 

            I hope you’re well. I hope you’re fighting for yourself. I know you’ll get through this, but my only wish is that I could be there for you. I wish I could be the one to help you, to be of assistance in a way that your body is unable to be at the moment. 

            I’m living at your place at the moment; I hope you don’t mind, I promise to vacuum twice a week and take out the trash. It’s unbearably lonely without you. I try not to cry when I climb into bed at night, but everything reminds me of you. I miss you so much. I just want you back here with me. We could get through this together. 

            School’s no better than it is at home. Everybody knows, and although I have dreamed of the day we would be revealed to the world, and a million different scenarios played out in my mind for hours on end, none of them went the way that it actually did. 

            I’m so alone. No one will look at me. Teachers either throw me pitied looks or ones filled with disgust and kids shout names at me. The people I used to sit with at lunch now shout things like “life ruiner", “slut", and “cheater" in my face when all I want to do is get to class. I sit alone. I work alone. I sleep alone. I’m so lost without you. 

            I hope you’re wearing hats to protect your head from the sun and that you’re taking all your medicine. I hope that even though we are not together, you find happiness in something. I hope that you keep reading and singing. I imagine you finding beauty in the birds chirping and the idea that we are both under the same blanket of stars. I imagine that you smile at the idea that one day we’ll be together again. 

            Claire is into her 2nd semester of pregnancy. Even though she is clearly tainted by your absence, she is glowing. I have a feeling it will be a boy, but Shane thinks otherwise. Either way, I know the new life that will be brought into this world will be loved so much by us. 

            I think about you every day, and I don’t think I’ll ever stop. You’re my everything, Eric, and I will wait until my heart stops beating for you to come back to me. To US. 

All my love, 

Bree

_________________

Thursday January 2nd 2014

To my only love, 

            Days have blurred together now, and the seasons have changed. Winter; you’re favorite. I haven’t left the house since we got off for Christmas holidays. I look out the window and I see us building an igloo or snowman. I walk into the kitchen and I see us trying to make Christmas Dinner, but failing miserably because we can’t keep our hands off of each other and we let the food burn. 

            Claire invited me to spend Christmas with her and Shane. Their house is the cutest thing; you should see the baby’s room. It’s painted yellow since they don’t want to know if it’s a boy or a girl until the actual birth. Shane’s going to be such a great dad; he’s more excited than Claire, herself.