Destroying Everything

Chapter 13

Chris's P.O.V

It was only a couple days later they let Josh out of the hospital. We had our restrictions though. No one was supposed to try and push him to remember things. If we wanted it to happen, we had to let it happen when he was ready. It was hard, especially for Devin. He was a rock though. I don't think I'd be able to handle it if I were in the same situation. 

We'd all been staying at Josh & Devin's place, mostly because we didn't want Devin to be alone. I didn't know how long this would go on, but I was thankful I had Ricky to go through this with. He'd been my rock. I was terrified that sooner or later, everything would catch up with me and I'd end up in jail. I think I was more afraid of leaving Ricky behind though. That was the last thing I wanted. 

I'd been sitting on the bed Ricky and I had been sharing, lost in my thoughts when the door opened and Devin appeared "Are you busy?" He asked softly. 

I shook my head "I'm never too busy for you bro. Come on in." I said motioning him inside. 

Devin stepped inside, shutting the door behind him. I could tell by the look on his face he needed someone to talk too. I patted the spot next to me on the bed and waited for him to sit down. He took a seat and cleared his throat, holding his head in his hands. 

"I can't do this, Chris" He started, "Do you have any idea how hard it is to be so close to him and not be able to touch him? Do you know how hard it is not to be able to tell him how much I love him? It's killing me. I don't know how much longer I can do this." He said, tears streaming down his cheeks. 

I sighed and moved in closer, slipping an arm around him. I was surprised he'd managed to hold this in for so long. I know I wouldn't have been able to do the same thing. 

I looked up when I heard the door open. It was Ricky. He opened his mouth to say something, but when his eyes fell on Devin, he put up a finger and smiled softly at me before shutting the door behind him once more.

"Dev, you're only human." I started "I don't know how you've managed to keep this all in for so long. You're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. I don't know what I'd do if that was Ricky who didn't know who I was...." My voice trailed off for a moment "But even then, it wouldn't be the same thing." I said. Damn, I should just shut up. I doubted I was doing any real good honestly. 

"I know he's scared....I know this has to be tough on him too. Not knowing any of us. Seeing all these looks on all our faces and not being able to do anything about it." He shook his head, leaning over to rest his head against my shoulder. "I love him so much, Chris. All I want is for him to get better. He has to get better. I can't lose him." He said. 

I shook my head "Devin, he's going to come back to us. He's gonna come back to you. Our Josh is inside of him somewhere, trying his best to get out. He's just been through so much recently and it's going to take him a little bit to get through it, but he will. I know it." I assured him.

His body shook as sobs ripped through his body. "I was going to ask him to marry me..." He said softly.

Oh shit. Did he really just say that? He did. Now this made it even worse. 

"You were?" I asked.

He nodded, sniffling as he pulled out a small box, handing it to me. 

This made it even more real now. I took the box and a smile slowly spread across my features. "Devin, it's gorgeous. But, you know you can still ask him. He's going to get better and believe me, he's going to love it." I added.

He sighed softly, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. "I need him to wake up one day and be Josh, our Josh."

"You know, why don't you treat this like you guys are starting over?" I began. "Just try being his friend and then maybe ask him out for a drink or something? You can make him fall in love with you again." 

Devin looked up at me and smiled, liking the idea "You know, that's not a bad idea. I think I might do that. Thanks Chris." 

I gave him a hug and nodded "No problem. I'm pulling for you. Always know that." 

He smiled and nodded, returning the hug. "Thanks Chris." He said as he got to his feet. "I'm going to get out of here. I know Ricky wanted to come in. I'll talk to you later." He said as he headed to the door.

Please let this work. I thought to myself.