Destroying Everything

Chapter 11

Ricky's P.O.V

I sighed and lit a cigarette, inhaling and exhaling the smoke slowly. I couldn't imagine what Devin must be going through right now. Josh was awake, but he didn't know who any of us were. I didn't know how we were going to get through this, I no we will, but I'm just not sure how. 

Also, the fact that Chris and I had murdered someone was still playing over and over in my head. I knew we hadn't got caught yet, but the possibility of it still hung in the distance. I know, I didn't actually kill anyone, but I was with Chris. And he did. I could tell it was eating Chris alive, but of course he wasn't going to admit it. 

I couldn't help but glance at Chris. I could tell he was worried, and not just about Josh. He knew what he had done. He knew what risk he took when he ended that young man's life, but I knew he would never be sorry for it. Hell, neither would I. He got what he had coming to him. 

Ryan convinced Devin to go inside and get a bite to eat. Chris and I said we would be in soon. I watched the two head inside and sighed softly once they were out of sight. Chris sat back down on the bench, holding his head in his hands. 

I got up and moved closer to him, slipping an arm around his waist. "Hey, are you okay?" I asked. 

He jumped a bit, obviously surprised from my touch. He looked up at me and sighed, shaking his head. "No. I killed someone, Ricky. I took someone's life. How am I supposed to live with that?" He started. "No, I don't regret it, but still. I should have let the cops handle it. If I get caught, I'm going away for a long, long time." He said. 

I scooted closer, resting my head against his shoulder "No one's ever going to find out, Chris. I promise." I lied. I wasn't sure, and I think Chris knew it too. 

"Thanks, Ricky. I know you don't believe that either, but it means a lot to me." He said, shaking his head as he looked up toward the hospital doors. "And this shit with Josh is getting the best of me." He added. 

I knew what he meant. This was hard on all of us. Trying to stay strong for Devin had started getting the best of us as well.

The truth was, we were all fighting our own battles in our heads. What would happen if Josh never got his memory back? what would happen if they found out who'd killed that guy? 

It was just another thing we would have to wait and see. I hated playing the waiting game. I'm the kind of guy who likes to know what's going to happen and when so I can be prepared. It's who I am. With this, there were no definite answers. 

Chris took in a deep breath and took my hand in his, "Thank you for being here for me, Ricky." He said, giving my hand a squeeze. 

I smiled softly and shook my head "No reason to thank me. I'm not doing anything you wouldn't do for me. Right?" I asked. 

He pretended to be thinking about it and I hit him playfully. "Oh shut up. You know you love me." I teased. 

That's when Chris' expression changed. I could see it. I knew he was trying his best to hide it, but I wasn't buying it. Something was up. And I intended on finding out what that was. 

"Chris?" I began, tilting my head down to get a better look at him. "Did I say something wrong?" I asked. 

He sighed, swallowing hard. "That's just it, I do love you Ricky. I've been head over heels in love with you for awhile now." He said, hanging his head. 

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Did Chris really just admit he was in love with me? No. He couldn't. Chris was gorgeous. He could easily have any woman, or man he wanted. Why would he want to be with someone like me? I couldn't lie though, I'd had feelings for Chris for awhile now. He was everything I'd ever wanted in a significant other. 

I took a deep breath and gently lifted Chris' head to make him look at me. "Chris, can I tell you a secret?" I asked. 

Chris nodded. 

"I've felt the same way about you for awhile now. I was just too scared to admit it." I said softly, feeling my face grow warmer with each second. 

Chris' face softened. "Really?" He asked, turning slightly to face me. 

I nodded. "Yeah, go ask Ry. I can't tell you how many times I've talked to him about it." I said.

"What did Ryan tell you to do?" He asked.

"He said I should tell you how I felt, but I was too scared of rejection." I admitted.

Chris looked surprised. "Why do you think you would be rejected?" He asked.

"Well, I'm not much to look at" I began, running my fingers nervously through my hair.  "And you are extremely gorgeous. You could have anyone you wanted. Why would you want me?" I asked.

Chris shook his head, taking my free hand in his "Ricky, you are perfect. You've always been there for me. Always know when I need a friend. You've stood by me more times than anyone else in the past. You walked in when the rest of the world walked out. Anyone, including me would be lucky to have you in their life." He said.

I couldn't believe this was happening. With all the bad shit happening, I was finally getting what I wanted. I smiled as Chris pulled me in, pressing his lips to mine. 

"Be mine, Ricky." He mumbled against my lips. 

I smiled against his lips and nodded. "Okay." I said simply as he kissed me once more.