Night Thoughts: Letters to Love, Time and Death

Night the First: On Life, Death and Immortality

Death, the great watcher, gazed across the landscape of humanity and spotted a flame. In the rapture of our realization, our fire gave us away. It was the night we first felt love.

"Time," Death commanded his servant, "seek out those lovers. Capture them and bring them to me. Reveal yourself as they lie together, as she rolls towards him, as she looks into his eyes, as he presses her naked flesh to his. Quickly, while they are burning with the joy of new love, sweep down upon them, lie between the lovers so they may no longer gaze into the eyes of the other, but feel the tight grip of Time. They will stare at the black face of Death."

"Oh, you silly man," my lover said. She was grinning as she wiped my tear with a touch of her finger. "You must really be in love. You're beginning to understand the tragedy of human existence." Her hands moved down my back. I felt peace in her bed, the comfort of her wisdom.

"Accept this: love equals time equals death equals love. The instant you fully surrender yourself to another, you forsake your immortality. Before love, you were not completely alive because you didn't understand time. Now you realize time is the countdown to death. Before love, you weren't really aware of death; you didn't grasp that one day you too will die.  Now, because of our love, you feel the pain of impending loss. To experience love is to fear death. I know. I feel it too, my love. I don't want this to end."

Her words settled on me like a blanket. I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling. She lay her head on my chest and twirled patterns in my hair. Her breath was warm on my neck and I knew she was right. I was treading on a sea of dread, knowing I would eventually lose my lover. It was a matter of time. From now on my existence would be measured by mornings waking beside her. How many more would there be? One day, one of us will be gone. And one left.

Alone.

"Yes my love, time will ensnare us, and death will come. That, we cannot escape. It's what we create in our time together that matters. We will dance in the time we have. We will make death wait, like the jealous lover watching us from the wings. We will waltz past, spinning and swaying, dancing to the very end. Without death, there is no time; without time, there is no dance. There are only steps taken alone."

My lover led my head to hers and her salty lips touched mine. I took her hand and we began our dance.