DRABBLE COLLECTION

BLACK SWAN [2/5]

There was a time when Jaejoong believed in others' words... The time when they said he's adorable. They cooed at him, always looking at him lovingly (some, enviously). There were people who even called him pretty despite his obvious gender. And they had all expressed their need to touch him, to know him.

He was perfect.

It was a time when everyone had liked and wanted him.

But to Jaejoong, that seemed like a very very long time ago.

Sighing, he slowly closed the curtain. Having watched that boy walked out of their compound, he felt a little... sad. If only he's normal... Then, they can be friends.

When he turned around and saw his sister looking at him, questioning him, he wasn't surprised.

"I'm not angry." He clarified yet again. "I trust you. But don't do this again. Don't bring him, anyone, home again."

"Oppa-"

Jaejoong glared. "Don't bring anyone home again. Don't bring him home. Understand, Chae Rin-ah?"

"But why?"

Jaejoong smiled sadly. He'd asked himself that same question a few times today. After that unexpected and awkward meeting, he'd fled to his room to calm himself and then slowly he managed to remind himself the reason too. "... Because he's just like them."

"No! He's not like that at all! Oppa, he respected you! He understands!"

Jaejoong said nothing but shook his head repeatedly. He knows better. Though it pained him, it's best for him to believe in that truth. He can't face another rejection. Most importantly, he can't shame and burden his family even more.

"You don't know him! You stayed in your room the whole time he's here! He said nothing about you! He asked nothing about it! Don't you dare say he's like the rest of them! You can't do this... I finally have a friend who knows about you..."

"I'm sorry Chae Rin-ah, but he's a liar." A good one too, because Jaejoong actually believed his compliment too... Before he remembered the truth...

All of a sudden, Chae Rin was staring him down and clucking her tongue. "Because he said you have beautiful eyes? That's it? Oppa! He's telling the truth! We do have the same eyes! We share our mother's! And I don't know if our eyes are beautiful or not but if you're telling me he's lying, then should I take offence too?"

"..."

Chae Rin sighed when Jaejoong looked away, a distant look in his eyes. "Oppa, maybe he can see you past the scars... Why can't you do the same?"

Because all I can see is this scars... Jaejong mentally answered her, looking at his reflection in the countless mirrors that decorated his front wall. In the beginning, his mother had refused to put so many mirrors as he requested but Jaejoong resisted and so he won. Nobody really understand why he wanted to do this... Nobody but Jaejoong himself.

Those mirrors are necessary.

They served as a reminder of how ugly he is, inside and out.

Yes.

That's the absolute truth.