19 | funerals and engagements

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Dedicated to the author of the series I first fell in love with,
Stephenie Meyer - I'm sorry for ditching Edward Cullen for Stefan Salvatore

Dedicated to the author of the series I first fell in love with,Stephenie Meyer - I'm sorry for ditching Edward Cullen for Stefan Salvatore

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Funerals are the epitome of events that run on misery and bleakness and this one was no exception. If anything, this one was the most depressing one I've been to since the person we were mourning was someone I cared about and felt accounted for.

The sky was as bleak as the faces of everyone standing in the garden. Everywhere my eyes landed was black. The white roses were the only non-black thing in plain sight for as far as my eyes could see other than the ground under my shoes.

Valentina was standing near her father's casket, her hand resting on her mother's shoulder. The silent tears running down her face contrasted with the loud cries of Carina Castellano.

Mrs. Castellano was sobbing, her teary eyes shielded by a black veil, her shoulders shaking and chest heaving.

After wandering around, my eyes finally found what they were seeking since I arrived.

Stefan stood away from the rest of the mourners, leaning against one of the pillars on the porch. His eyes were focused on the floor of the porch while his fingers fiddled with his watch that his father had given him on his eighteenth birthday.

I walked to Val and Carina, gripping the wreath in my hand tightly.  Val turned her blond head when she saw me approaching. She nodded in acknowledgement when I put the wreath on the casket. I nodded back in response before making my way to Stefan.

Stefan didn't even look up when I stood in front of him. His hair was uncombed and his black tie which camouflaged with his tuxedo and black shirt was crooked. I had to resist from adjusting it. I didn't have any right to touch him. Not anymore.

After a few seconds of silence, I cleared my throat softly. "Stefan, I'm...I'm sorry."  My voice cracked and my vision was blur with tears.

Without even glancing at me, he took hold of my wrist and dragged me into the house to his room.

His room looked exactly the way it was since I last saw it. The fireplace, the sheets, even the photographs. The only thing that was different was both of us and our relationship.

Stefan's back was to me. I touched his shoulder lightly after some hesitation. He flinched like I had burned him and spun around. His eyes were red and I could see that his cheeks were wet with tears.

"Why didn't you pick up my calls?" he hissed. "I know you probably hate me and all but you should know that I respect your choices. Why do you think I didn't come begging at your feet to take me back when you dumped me? I wouldn't call you if you didn't want me to. If I did, it means it's an emergency. It was."

I stood there, speechless. There wasn't anything I could say to defend myself because I was supposed to know him. I should have known he wouldn't call me for fun.

"I needed you, Snowflake. My dad died  and the only person I could think of was you. Only your touch would make my pain go away. Only your hugs would comfort me. Only your kisses would take the sense of loneliness from me. You were the one person I longed to see. Needed to see. But you weren't there for me," Stefan said, tears running down his distraught face.

"I'm sorry, Stef. God, I really am but I couldn't come immediately," I sobbed. There was nothing else I could say.

"Why not?"

"It would be weird if I wasn't at my own engagement," I said quietly.

"What?" he whirled around. "You're engaged?"

"Yeah. My mum said I had to get married before my friends gave birth to their first child," I laughed without mirth. "If it comforts you, I don't love him. It's an arranged marriage."

This time he laughed. "I'm not supposed to care, Snowflake, but I do. You may not be my girlfriend anymore but you are the girl I love."

He said love, not loved. My heart crumpled like it was a piece of paper in his strong hands. I didn't deserve his love, not after I killed his father.

Stefan bit his lip and turned his head away. "You were the one person I wanted to see. Now your face is the last one I want to see."

"Stef-" I started but he cut me off.

"Just go, Akansha. You wanted me to let you go? I finally got the strength to do it. I'm letting you go. Go."

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