Secretly Loving My Bestfriend (COMPLETED)

EPILOGUE (Part 1)

8 years later

Sa mga taong lumipas ay marami akong natutunan.

Natuto akong tumayo mag-isa at makuntento sa kung anong meron ako ngayon.

Naging independent ako mula nang nasa wastong gulang na ako  pero hindi parin naman ako pinababayaan ng tito at tita ko.

Palagi silang nandiyan para gabayan ako. Dahil nga wala silang anak ay ibinuhos nila sa'kin lahat ng atensyon at pagmamahal nila at nagpapasalamat ako sa Diyos doon.

Natuto akong maging masaya na hindi nakadepende sa iba.

Happiness is a choice. And your happiness should only come from you.

Hindi natin dapat iasa ang kasiyahan natin sa iba dahil hindi sa lahat ng oras ay nandyan sila. Maaari silang lumayo o mawala at ganun din ang kasiyahan natin kung sakali.

And also, we shouldn't give everything we have. We need to spare some for ourselves.

Marami na rin ang nagbago sa buhay ko.

Aside from the job I have, the properties, the money and everything I have right now, is my attitude when it comes to pain. Before, whenever I'm hurt, I used to take revenge cause I think it's just fair.

But I was wrong. Ako lang rin naman ang mahihirapan at masasaktan ng sobra-sobra sa huli.

I've been hurt many times already and I used to take revenge but right after that moment, I chose to accept the pain wholeheartedly cause it is the easiest way to move on, or that's just what I think.

Pero sa lahat-lahat ng nangyari sa'kin ay isa lang ang hindi nagbago sa akin.

Ang nararamdaman ko para sa kanya.

Kahit anong pilit kong kalimutan iyon ay wala pa rin talaga.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit hanggang ngayon ay siya pa rin. Maaaring tanggap ko nang hindi siya para sa'kin pero hindi pa rin siya makalimutan ng puso ko.

Kaya naman ay hinayaan ko na lamang ang damdaming ito.

I just realized that forcing myself will just lead to nowhere. It's just like killing the fire through gasoline. The harder I try, the more it worsens.

I was just reminiscing the past. Remembering those moments we've been together even though those were just a short span of time but for me, it still counts.

Then all of a sudden, the door bell rang which made me wonder.

Who could that be? It's not like nobody visits me here. It's just that I'm expecting no one to visit me right now.

Without further hesitations, I went outside to know who was that.

I opened the gate and there I saw someone I didn't expect to see the most.

As I saw her angelic face, it's like my world stopped revolving. My jaw dropped seeing her gorgeously standing in front of me.

And before I could utter a word, she ran into me and hugged me tightly.

I was caught off guard and I just stiffened. I don't know how to react or how to even talk to her.

"Oh God! How I missed you so much James!" she said, still hugging me.

Oh fck! She really knows how to make me speechless. I don't know why but my heart is starting to beat rapidly.

"Ah I-i missed you too, Sarah" oh fck! Why am I stuttering?

I don't know why but something inside me suddenly build up because of what she said.

"Tuloy ka muna, Sarah" I invited her, thinking that she still has lot of things to say.

But much to my dismay, she refused. "Hindi na James. I just came here to give you this." then she handed me an envelope.

"I hope you can come. Oh! No, no! You should really come. Bye!" She giggled and walked away, leaving me with a smile plastered on my face.

Then I went inside. I was smiling from ear to ear and decided to see if what's the envelope all about.

My smile faded right after I opened the envelope.

All of my hope just sank upon reading what was written there. Everything that were building slowly inside me broke down.

Napaupo nalang ako sa aking nalaman.

I took another glance to what's inside the envelope. It says:

"You are cordially invited to the wedding of Sarah and Jay"

And what's worse is being the best man of her wedding. I just smiled bitterly at the thought.

I don't know if I would be happy that she didn't forget me and still managed to send me an invitation on the most special day of her life after what happened before or be sad and be hurt because she didn't even care about my feelings.

Oh! I forgot, hindi nga naman pala niya alam. Tumawa ako ng mapakla.

Don't I deserve to be happy? Why does they seem to always hurt me?

I hurt no one but why am I always hurt by everyone?

Everything was unwanted, I get it. They didn't want to hurt me since they know nothing but I just can't help but bleed at the thought.

Tears started streaming down on my cheeks. I'm not like this. I don't usually cry.

Or maybe I just got tired of holding myself back. It's maybe time to let go.

I was like a crazy person, laughing bitterly with those tears rolling down rapidly.

I just sighed deeply and laid down on the sofa, thinking of everything that happened.

Minutes of thinking and I just found myself closing my eyes, trying to escape this unfair world full of cruelty.