For Who the Heart Beats

A new complication.

Cas popped the trunk to the impala and started grabbing as many bags as he could carry. Filling up his arms so he wouldnt have to make a second trip. He slammed the trunk closed with his foot then headed into the bunker, barely managing to get the door open. He walked down the stairs and as he sat all the grocery bags on the table he looked up and met Sam's eyes which were wide. His cup frozen at his lips as he watched the angel wearily.
"Did I forget something?" cas asked eyeing the bags set before him.
"Don't freak out but something happened while you were gone."
"Is Dean okay? Why didn't you call me?" Cas' chest filled with alarm but Sam shook his head.
"Its uh Benny. He's here."
"Here? How did he get out of purgatory?"
"Not sure. Says he just woke up on the side of the highway in south Louisiana. He's been looking for Dean for a month. Found his way here not half an hour ago."
Cas felt his jaw set in annoyance and Sam sighed, pointing to the library.
Cas left the younger Winchester to deal with the food and went searching for Dean.
He found them sitting on the sofa together, Benny's arm tossed over the back of it, almost wrapped around Dean's small frame. They were laughing and hadn't noticed Castiel yet so he cleared his throat.
Turning to look behind them Dean smiled and Benny pulled his arm away.
"Hey love, your back." Dean grinned, melting Cas' anger.
"Yeah just got here. Sam's putting everything away. Hello Benny. "
"Castiel." The vampire nodded.
Dean stood from the couch and excused himself to the bathroom, kissing Cas as he passed. The angel and he vamp just watched each other.
"Lovely place." Benny finally said.
"Don't try to small talk me. Why are you here?"
"Well I wanted to see Dean. Didn't quite expect to see him as a her and pregnant, but here I am. Dean said I could stay as long as I need. He's a sweetheart."
"You stay away from Dean." Cas growled.
"Oh no need to be vile. I get it. He's yours. I never saw that coming either. Didn't pin him for the weak type."
"Weak?" Cas' eyes glowed bright blue as his anger flared.
Benny was about to stand up when Dean walked in, making him ease off the subject and relax back into the sofa.
Cas blinked and the burning blue was gone. Dean smiled up at him as he stuffed his face with potato chips.
The angel pulled his hunter close and whispered in his ear, "you'll ruin your dinner that way." It sent a chill down Dean's spine and made him pull away with a smirk
"Nah, feeding two now keeps me starving."
"Geez and I thought you were a glutton before!" Sam piped from the hallway.
"Bitch!"
"Jerk!"
Dean laughed and turned to sit back on the couch, patting the spot next to him for Cas. But the angel declined.
"Why don't we show Benny his room? Aren't vampires supposed to sleep all day?"
Dean laughed and shook his head, "You've been watching too many movies Cas."
Standing up Dean led the way as the angel and the vampire followed. He headed down the main corridor and stopped two over from his room and opened the door. The room was bare. Just a made bed, dresser, and a lamp, but it would do.
Benny walked in behind him and looked around,smiling. "So much better than that trailer I was staying in before. "
"I imagine so. That thing was awful."
Benny smirked at Dean, scraping his eyes down the hunters body when he looked away. Cas could feel the rage rising in his chest.
"Dean, I was thinking. You'll need new clothes soon. How about I take you shopping?" Cas said instead of walking across the room and tearing the vampire's heart from his chest.
"I'm not feeling up to that today, can we go tomorrow? Sammy caught a case and we should be heading out soon."
"A case?" Cas was confused. Dean was planning on working in his condition?
" oh don't look at me like that. I won't break Cas. I'll be fine. Its only a few towns over. Some kids have gone missing and when the parents were asked about it they had no memory of even having children. "
Cas just nodded, not wanting to start a fight. They had been fighting a lot this last week since they found out about the baby. Cas assumed it was just Dean's hormones getting the better of him. New body and now this. It couldn't be an easy transition.
Benny offered to come and Dean agreed, leaving to get changed. Cas stood there for a while. Him and Benny glaring at each other. When Benny grinned he knew this was going to be hell. As long as that vampire was in the bunker he was sure to cause trouble for Cas and Dean.
"You behave yourself on this hunt beast." Cas snarled.
"Better watch out threatening your lovers best friend. Might not end well for you" and with that he strode out of the room.
Cas clenched and unclenched his fists a few times before following.
*  *   *
Dean let the shower rain over him as he washed the blood and grime from his skin, trying to ingnore Cas from the hall.
"Dean that was wreckless! You could of been seriously hurt! You have to think before you do these types of things!" The angel fumed.
Dean clenched his jaw, wanting to punch something as he scrubbed his hair.
How the hell did Sam get this crap out of his hair?
He quickly washed his body and rinsed his hair before stepping out, his leg smarting in pain. He bit his lip and towel dried himself as best he could. He pulled on a flannel shirt and buttoned it before pulling on a pair of underwear. He tried to lean down and pull on his pajama pants but he teared up when he bent his leg so left the pants on the sink and stepped into the hall. Flannel just covering his butt as he limped.
"Jesus Cas, okay. I get it. You were worried. I got hurt but I'm fine. The baby is fine. "
"Its not fine Dean! You could of lost your leg. This isn't something you can brush off ."
"I'm not some doll that you can place on a shelf! This is my job." The hunter shouted, echoing through the hall.
Cas' eyes softened and reached out to cradle Dean's face but the hunter stepped back.
"I know this is your job, I do. But you aren't a full sized man anymore. Your barely a hundred and ten pounds fully clothed and your with child. My child. I'm just..  I worry about you. Both of you. And I know that's new and its scary but-"
"I need some time." Dean said cutting Cas off.
"What?" His chest tightened .
"I think I'll sleep in my room tonight. You in yours." And with that Dean shuffled down the hall, using the wall to help support his weight.
Cas stood there and watched, feeling useless and broken.
Dean found Sam in the kitchen making a sandwhich. Sam turned and laughed, seeing Dean like that. Injured, in his underwear, and frowning.
"Well hello darling sister of mine." Sam singsonged.
"I will shoot you." Dean threatened. "But seriously can you wrap this for me? Its killing me."
"Sure." Sam said, wondering why he hadn't asked Cas. The younger Winchester reached into the high cabinet and pulled down the first aid kit and sat it on the table. Dean eased down into the chair and Sam was about to sit when his phone rang. He pulled it from his pocket and looked at the screen.
"Hang on, its Jody." He walked off into the library and Dean heard him answer with a goofy greeting.
Dean huffed as he sat there, deciding to reach into the first aid and grab the muscle ointment. He squirted some into his palm and started to massage it into his calf and lower thigh. He grimaced at the pain and the numbing  sensation from the medicine.
"Need some help?" Benny asked from behind him.
Dean turned and nodded making Benny chuckl at his expression.
The vampire sat in front of him and gently propped his leg in his lap. He squeezed  ointment into his hand and started to work it into Dean's leg. Dean groaned and bit into his lip as Benny massaged him. It hurt horribly but the cream would help the muscle and the pain. He just had to take it.
When Benny was done he grabbed an ace bandage from the box and wrapped it around Dean's leg but didn't push it from his lap.
"Thanks man, that would of been a bitch to do myself "
"No problem, saw you were struggling."
"Hey!" Sam said running back in."Oh good he helped you. I've gotta go. Jody needs some help. Will you be okay here?"
"What? No, I'm coming dude" Dean said trying to stand but almost collapsing onto the floor. Benny caught him and pulled him to his feet.
"You can barely walk Dean. You need to stay. Rest up and heal. I'll go help Jody. "
Dean just nodded his agreement, not wanting to sound weak and Sam headed off to pack a bag.
Deciding he was done with the day Dean hobbled off to his room and sat on his bed.
God he felt so useless. First he got hurt on the last hunt and now he couldn't even help his family. Sam had to go off on his own while he sat here like a bump on a log.
And Cas. Cas was constantly hovering. He knew he blamed himself for Dean getting hurt. For not reacting quick enough.
Cas had wanted to heal him, take the pain away right then and there but Dean refused. He couldn't always use Cas every time something hurt but now he was thinking about it.
Ignoring that thought he decided to go to bed.
He pulled back the blanket and didn't think about the longing he felt to have Cas there beside him. And soon enough he fell asleep.
* * *
"CAS!" Dean yelled, practically running down the hallway.
"Yes Dean?" The angel responded, poking his head out from the kitchen.
"You healed me didn't you? No, I know you did. After I told you to let it be."
"I came to check on you last night and you were tossing and turning in your sleep. I was worried so yes I healed you. "
"You have got to respect what I want Cas. I'm still me. I'm still Dean. I'm not this!" He screamed, motioning to his body.
"I know your still you. I know how strong you are but I want to be here for you. You just have to let me."
Dean could feel his hormones raging, he wanted to scream and cry and curse but instead he left Cas there. He went to his room, dressed, and left in the impala.
He drove more than half the day. Only stopping for gas and something to eat at lunch. He needed to clear his head. He was second guessing himself and all of his choices. Could he do this? Be a woman, have a baby, be with Castiel? The thoughts consumed him. He stopped after a while and sat at a park. He let his mind stay blank as he watched the children run and play. He soaked up the sun. He tried his hardest not to think until he knew it was time to head back. Knew he had to before Cas came for him.
The fighting was tearing him apart. He knew he wanted this baby and he knew he wanted Cas but with the way things were going he didn't know how it could ever work. He was falling apart.
When he pulled into the bunker garage a little after dark Benny was there waiting for him. He watched as Dean got out and they walked in silence to Cas' room. Vampire behind the hunter.
Dean cracked the door after knocking but what he saw broke him. The room was empty. The bed made and the closet left open. Only hangers left inside. Not a single suit or tie. The lamp was off and the dresser no longer held the photo of himself and his angel. The angel blade and its case gone too.
"Where is he?" Dean demanded, whirling around on Benny.
"He left Dean."
"What do you mean he left? When will he be back?" Dean ignored the hot tears that rolled off his cheeks.
"All he told me was that he couldn't hurt you anymore. He wanted you to figure things out. Give you the space you obviously need. "
Dean's knees hit the floor and he sobbed into his hands, screaming.
Benny helped him up and over to the bed.
The hunter gripped Benny's shirt and cried into his chest.  The vampire pulled him in close, hugging him tightly to him.
"I'm here Dean, I'm not going anywhere. I'll help you figure this out. "
Dean curled up on the bed and laid his head in Benny's lap, letting his friend brush his fingers through his hair that was sprawled out in waves.
And Castiel watched, not allowing himself to be seen by either of them. His heart broke as he watched Dean cry. It broke as he watched another man comfort him. He watched as Dean fell asleep in Benny's arms, tears drying on his cheeks. He watched until he forced himself to leave. No matter how bad this hurt him he couldn't continue to hurt the man he loved.