My Little Secret

For Better Worse

Jacob Perez

"I promise you, I'm not upset with you. I just took some thinking time."

"So you were mad at me, just not anymore?" I asked.

"I never was."

"Well, we were good then you just ignored me for a day and a half so something must've been up."

"Jacob, do you think I'd be here right now if I was mad at you?"

"Zoey, you don't just not talk to someone for more than 24 hours and come back with everything a-okay."

I haven't talked to Zoey since the day I ran into her and Dominic in the hall. She didn't answer any of my texts or calls, then she just shows up at my house like nothing happened.

"Nothing was ever wrong Jacob. I just.. I needed time to myself alright."

"Yeah, alright." I sat on the couch and engaged myself into the tv.

"So, you're mad at me now?" She asked, crossing her arms.

"Nope. I just need time to myself." I quoted, stealing her exact words right out of her mouth.

"I'll leave then."

Even though she acted in the opposite way that I wanted her to, I let her go. I wasn't comprehending what she was trying to get at.

We haven't even been in this "relationship" or whatever it is, for a week and it felt like it was taking a turn for the worst. It honestly felt like we were right back where we started, minus intimacy. Not that that was a big deal, I just really want to make things right with her. She's not giving me the time of day to do so though.

I thought about just texting her and telling her to come back. We could talk it out and settle it now. However, I knew she'd just say "Nothing's wrong." or "I was never mad." and that not gonna do anything but make me mad because I'd feel like she's hiding something from me or not trusting me enough to tell me what's going on with her.

My phone rang and I picked it up. I didn't even bother to look at the caller ID.

"I'm surprised you picked up."

I regretted picking up the phone.

"What do you want Dominic?"

"I don't want anything from you. I just want to apologize. It's been a lot going on man." He sighed.

The hell?

"Yeah okay. What's up with this?" I asked.

I couldn't think of sensible reason as to why he'd be apologizing to me unless someone put him up to it.

"Man what? Nothing. I just- we weren't supposed to turn on each other like this. You were my nigga. We just let that shit go over something petty? Hell nah."

"Well it wasn't petty shit. It was you disrespecting my relationship homie. If I was really your nigga like you claimed, you wouldn't have did that." I corrected him.

"That's why I want to apologize man. Look, this over the phone shit ain't cutting, so how about you just come by, we'll talk this out man to man and whatever happens after that, so be it."

It wasn't like I had anything else to do so I took his offer. I wasn't going over there to be friendly, just to put him in place and get to getting. I wasn't stupid. I knew he wasn't just doing this to do it.

Who could've put him up to it, was beyond me. I really didn't care to be honest with you. I just wanted every one to leave me and mine alone and let us live. Everyone was acting like a bunch of middle schoolers.. We were graduating this year and you wouldn't even believe it cause of the way everyone was acting. 

So childish and immature... I was literally tired of it all.

__

I found myself quickly regretting coming over here. Sitting in the same room as him did nothing but cause tension and my, was it thick.

I knew me speaking first wouldn't leave things pretty, so I just waited on him to say something. My patience was wearing thin and my blood boiled at the thought of myself harming this dude I used to call my friend.

"Alright man, I refuse to sit here with you and act like little girls over something not that deep. I apologized over the phone but Ill apologize again. I'm sorry for allowing petty shit to come between us. We're too old for this and we've been friends to long. I'll respect your wish of staying out of your relationship and relationship problems as long as you accept my apology."

Hell nah.

Nah, I wasn't accepting his apology. Nah we ain't friends, nah we ain't homies, but I wasn't trying to add fuel to fire. I really wanted this over. I had too many people against me already. This was my opportunity to get one on my side.

Plus, you know what they say, keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

So that's just what I was gonna do.

"And I thought I was gonna have to come over here and fuck some shit up." I smiled and extended my hand out for a dap.

He dapped me up. "I knew you couldn't stay mad at me forever man."

Little did he know.

"I mean, you've been my homie for the longest. I was just waiting on a sincere apology." I said while checking my messages.

Even though I was dealing with this, Zoey was heavy on my mind. I honestly couldn't tell if she was hiding something from me or if she was really mad at me. Either way, I wanted to talk to her. I thought about texting her but I didn't want to annoy her.

But fuck it.

To: Z
You okay bbyg?

"So you good?" Dominic knocked me out of my thought.

"As long as you cool off my girl, we straight." I raised an eyebrow.

He chuckled. "I assure you I am. Plus, I have a girl of my own."

Not bragging but, I'm pretty sure it was someone I already had.

"Word? I know her?" I asked.

"Jacob, you know everybody." He laughed.

I laughed too, as his comment was very truthful.

"You're right about that one."

My phone rang. I decided to check the Caller ID this time, hoping it was Zoey, but it was just a unknown number. Usually, I wouldn't answer, but something told me to do so.

"Hello?"
"Hey Jay, its Zoey."
"Oh hey, uhh, why are you calling me from an unknown number?" I asked, curiously.
"My phone was dying and I'm at a friends house. They didn't want their number all out so.."
"I already have Avi's number so what's the-"
"Avi isn't my only friend Jacob. I was just letting you know I was okay. I may come see you later tonight. I wanna talk to you."

Yeah, I wanted to know EXACTLY where she was, but I didn't want to question and upset her, so I just left it alone.

"Okay, cool. Just shoot me a text before. I love you."

"Yeah, love you too." She hung up the phone.

Something was weird about that whole conversation. As much as I knew it would bother me, I didn't allow it. At least she called me, you know.

"Well man, Im about to head out. I guess I'll see you around, and speak." I got up.

He gave me a head nod after clarifying that we were good.

I exited his place. I knew I had nothing else to do. I figured I'd just sit at home and wait on Zoey.