My Little Secret

Another Shot For Me

Jacob Perez

"I'll, uh, I'll pick you up."
"No, I'll drive." She avoided looking at me.
"Okay. See you in a bit." I walked over to my car.

We'd just gotten out of school. I'd been waiting on this moment all day.

I was happy. I had gotten her to come and that was progress in my eyes. It felt like I hasn't talked to her in years. Going from talking to someone everyday to no type of communication was horrible, especially when it was someone like her.

We had a special bond. It wasn't explainable. Hell, we barely knew what we were doing. Now that I think about it, it was pointless. We were too old to be doing what we were doing and I knew that all along. I just wasn't smart enough to realize how much she meant to me. I mean, I knew, but this made me realize how much she actually meant to me. Being without her was slowing making me go crazy.

Now, today could go horrible. Today could be the reason I literally never talk to her again. Today could also be the reason I make the decision to be permanently all hers. That's the decision I wanna make. I just really have to prove to her she's all I want. Based off everything that's going on, that's going to be extremely hard.

I pulled up to the pizza parlor. I insisted on taking her somewhere nicer, but this is where she wanted to go so I wasn't complaining.

She was a few cars behind me, so I was just waiting on her to pull up.

Once she did, I got out debating on whether I should meet her at her car or just go in.

I met her for the hell of it.

I walked in and over to a table. She was a couple steps behind me. We sat across each other. Neither of us said a thing.

"Uh, you wanna eat first or talk first? Multitask? It's up to you." I asked breaking the silence.
"Hm, let's talk first. Food on the table right now wouldn't be such a good idea."

I rubbed my face, allowing me to keep my smart comments to myself. She had the right to be mad but her snappy ass attitude was bound to upset me.

"Okay well, can you at least promise me you won't get up and leave when and if you get upset?"
She rolled her eyes. "I'm already upset Jacob. If you just tell the truth you won't have to worry about that."

She crossed her arms. " Is Naomi pregnant Jacob? Don't lie to me."
"No. If she is, it's not mine. I haven't messed with her since you."
She shook her head. "That's bullshit."

"Where's the lie?" I asked curious to know what she knew that I didn't.

She propped her elbows on top of the table. "That day I came to your house and we got into an argument, you had a hickey on your neck and it wasn't from me. So was it from her or another bitch?"

I sighed. " Okay, yes that was her. I called myself mad with you because I thought you were messing with Dominic. So, I called her up but it was nothing. I mean yeah we kissed but that's it."
"And she put a hickey on your neck." She reminded me.
"That too, but that's it."

" I would never, in a million years, do you dirty like that. Out of all things you'd think I do, it would be to mess with one of your friends? Technically, you were never my man but I still didn't have the heart to do you like that."

"Yeah I know. I'm sorry. I fucked up, but I don't know what you want me to say. I don't know what you want me to do. I've been going fucking crazy without you. I've been sitting to myself thinking of ways I could fix us and I don't know how. Yeah I flirted with other girls and I entertained them and still expected to you to be there. At the end of the day I wanted you. I just didn't show you the way I should've. I wanna do that now. I don't care what I have to do to prove it to you. Hell, I'd do anything."

She started playing with her fingers. "Look, I hear you, but you say one thing and show another. Jacob I'm not–"

"Zoey, I love you man. I don't see myself leaving this table without knowing that you know you really mean something to me. I could talk, talk, talk all day. I wanna show you though. I can only do that if you let me."

"Dammit Jake.."  She covered her face with her hands."

I got up and say directly beside her. I wrapped my arms around her. It was literally a moment of peace for me. She didn't stop me either.

"I missed you so much girl."I whispered.

After while, she moved my hands and scooted away.

"Jacob, I can't do it anymore."

Hearing her say that crushed my soul. I knew I messed up bad, but I didn't know it would cause me to loose her.

"At least not how we use to." She continued, giving me relief.

"No more lies, no more assumptions, no more secrets..."
I nodded.

"And no rushing. Baby steps."
"Baby steps?" I raised my eyebrows.
She shook her head. "
I knew exactly what she was talking about.

"Yeah yeah yeah, now come here."  I opened my arms and she scooted back over to me.
"Promise me something."  She looked up at me in a serious manner.
"Promise you what?"
"Promise me that-" She paused. "Promise me that you won't fuck with my heart Jake, and mean it please."

"Z, I promise that I won't fuck with your heart. Instead, I promise to protect it and I mean that shit."
"Pinky promise? She stuck her pinky out.
"You're such a kid." I chuckled, interlocking our pinkys together.
"Oh, and Jake?"
"Yes babygirl?"
She smiled. "I love you too."

I kissed her. I couldn't wait anymore. I've been waiting on this for so long. I finally felt whole again. If anything, this would make us way stronger than we've ever been and I was ready for that.

"Are you ready to eat now? Is it safe to put food on the table?" I joked.
"Actually, I'm not really in a pizza mood."
" What do you wanna eat then?"  I asked.
"McDonald's?"
I shook my head in agreement. "Read my mind. "

We headed out of the pizza place and into our cars. We ended up sitting inside of the Mcdonalds. We ate and talked.

It felt surreal. I couldn't have asked for more at the moment. I was ready for this fresh start with her, a better start.

"So, how about after this you come to my place and we-"

"Nope. I was serious when I said baby steps Jacob. I don't want to be based of just-"

"And we watch a movie." 

She giggled. "Right. Yeah sure. Nothing scary though."

I put my hands up as if I was surrendering. "Your pick."

___

"You kept all my stuff." She cheesed.
"Of course. What was I gonna do with it?"
She shrugged. "Throw it out? I don't know."
"I couldn't."

She was going through the drawer of clothes she had over here. I had convinced her to stay with me through the night. It felt like forever since she's been over here.

"Did you pick a movie yet?" I asked her while scrolling through the movie selections.
"Mm, nah. You pick, just nothing scary." She yelled from the bathroom.
Once she finished, I still hasn't picked a movie.
"Still nothing?" I shook my head.
After plugging her phone up, she slid beside me.
"How about this?"
"Nah."
"This?"
"No."
"This one?"
"Uh uh."

I scrolled for a couple more minutes and still didn't find anything.
"I can't find anything so here." I handed her the remote but when I looked over she was knocked out. I laughed to myself.
I got up to hit the light. Once i got back into the bed and got comfortable, I turned the tv off, wrapped my arms around Zoey, and planted a kiss onto her cheek.

I drifted off peacefully, knowing that I had her back in my arms.