ONYX(unedited;1st draft)

It Was Supposed To Keep Me In

13. It Was Supposed To Keep Me In

  "Would you like to explain what that was?"

  We were safely in the car, driving away from the large mansion and down a dirt road threw the forest that surrounds the small community. We were only driving for exactly five minutes and I hoped that he wouldn't ask.

  I smiled a little but it wasn't genuine, "That, Blue Eyes, is what usually happens when people try to command me. Only it gets a little worse when my wolf does it." I explain. I've always hated it whenever Dakoda thought that she could have the upper hand. She knows I hate it. It's worse because she my wolf. She belongs to me, not the other way around.

  "So your wolf? You were having a fight with your wolf? That doesn't seem healthy Onyx." He jokes.

  I let out a breathy laugh, playing with loose thread in my ripped pants, "She knows I hate it, but I guess it was desperation that drove her to it." I mumble.

  "What exactly was it?" He peeks at me briefly through the corner of his eye.

  I took a deep breath, "Ace. She was telling me to get out, pushing me actually."

  "Is that such a bad thing? I'm sure most of our wolves get out of hand sometime-"

  "No, you don't understand," I gave him a small smile, "She isn't allowed to get out of hand."

  I blinked, the space between his eyebrows furrowing as he frowned, "Allowed?" He questions. I knew what he was thinking and I know that he's thinks it's impossible what I'm saying.

  "Yes. You see, I don't allow her to even feel as if she can take control. She never has. She needs to understand that I'm in control, that I always will be." As I spoke I realized that I probably sound like a controlling perfectionist but Dakoda knows why it always has to be like this, but because of my strict demeanor over the years at times, she's developed a kind of fear toward me.

  I usually get violent whenever I'm angry with her, as you can see. Because I cannot touch her, seeing as she's a part of me, the only way I keep her in check is by being strict or breaking things and so she's scared to go against my wishes.

  "Oh. Wow." He was blinking rapidly as he watched the highway that we were now on, "I've never-" He cuts himself off and looks over at me for a second before turning his attention back to the road, "Met someone who has total control over their wolf before."

  I shrugged, "One of the reasons why is that I don't really like being told what to do."

  "So you've never lost yourself to your wolf?" He asks, fascinated.

  I frowned, "There was this one time but it was years ago, I don't remember." I swallowed a lump in my throat, turning my head away to stare out the window.

  "Not even on the full moon?" He asks again. I don't think he heard how I strained to get out the last words or how I was once again tense in my seat.

  I looked down at my lap, "No. Not even then."

¿*?

  "So how are we going to do this?" Blue Eyes asks as we stood next to his car, staring into the dark forest.

  It took about five hours to get to the pack's territory and we were standing just at the edge of the border.