ride. ( dreezy & 21 savage )

6) Drowning In My Problems

Seandrea Sledge:

Shayaa's thumb stroked the side of my chin as I slowly pulled back.

I stared down at the couch. "Shayaa I can't do this." I blurted. Okay, that weed was definitely having it's say.

"What you mean?" Shayaa asked. He held a gaze into my eyes.

"I feel like we slowly progressing...but... how can I put this? My mind isn't really, with it, if you know what I mean." I said.

"Oh, I see what you saying." Shayaa said.

I put my head on his chest and he ran a hand over my hair. "Shayaa, I think we should stay apart for a few more weeks." I said.

Shayaa froze. I hadn't meant to make him feel some type of way. "Shayaa, it's just..." I trailed off.

Shayaa lifted my head up so I could look at him. "It's not that I don't like you anymore," I sighed. "...it's just that I'm not on good terms with my ex. I don't want to have so much weight on my shoulders." I said.

Shayaa's surprised look softened. I wasn't trying to blow him off of anything. I just needed some time to work stuff out with Hakeem. Cause trust me, he is clingy.

I gave him a long hug and pulled on my shoes. Then I put on my North Face jacket and walked out of Shayaa's apartment. When I got into my apartment, I contemplated on calling Hakeem. I knew all he would do is make up a million and one excuses and ask for me to forgive him.

Then my mind drifted to Shayaa. I felt a little bad for walking out like that. I needed some time but if it meant blowing off Shayaa then I was getting hesitant.

I ignored it and opened my contacts and tapped Hakeem's number. There was a long pause before it started ringing so he picked up on the first one. "Dre--"

"Save it." I said.

"I said I was sorry." Hakeem whined.

"Sorry don't fix everything, Hakeem. Sorry don't kill the fact that you had the bitch with you, and you was seeing her. You can't keep asking me to forgive you. You was fucking around on me, ion do that shit. I really don't." I said.

"How am I supposed to show you? You won't ever let me. That's just doing too much." Hakeem said.

"Because you keep apologizing. I said sorry ain't cutting it. Did I or did I not say last month, show me and don't tell me?" I said.

I became quickly irritated. "Seandrea, even if I was to show you, you wouldn't forgive me either way." Hakeem said.

"And who's fault is that?" I snapped.

The other end of the line was quiet. "Listen Hakeem. I gave you a whole lotta chances. But I'm really done now. Go run back to Miranda or some shit. I don't want nothing else to do with you. You cheated on me, and you want me to forgive you? Nah. And you was fucking around with 2 other bitches before that? Apparently that mean you ain't happy with how I am. You ain't happy with the way I live my life. But no, I understand, that's exactly why I'm done with you. We done. It's no more Seandrea and Hakeem, none of that. I tried to work this out with you. You made this real complicated." I said.

I hung up. I hadn't meant to make it as frustrating as it came to be. It was partly because of Hakeem. Jesus, this shit was driving me mad crazy. I sat down heavily on the couch. "Shit." I muttered. I repeated it over and over again, increasing my volume until I yelled out "FUCK!" and threw something at the wall. I forgot what it was but I know it went flying like a pinball machine.

I had all this anger and frustration built up inside of me. I just needed to walk it off. I pulled on my shoes and zipped up my jacket. I didn't bother with my hair and grabbed my phone and my keys and locked the door behind me.

I circled the block, letting the cold wind blow my hair around my face. The wind dragged me away from my thoughts as I approached the apartment building. Matter of fact, the winds been blowing nonstop for the past week. There was a pain starting to grow in my ankle.

When I got in the house, I had hair caught in my eyelashes, hair stuck on my lip and half of my hair had been blown to one side of my head.

I really didn't care about the hair that was on one side of my head. I hastily brushed the hair out of my face and recollected myself. Thoughts from earlier rushed into my head like a swarm.

I had two-- make that three more options to melt it off. Get high, drink some alcohol or both. I took to the third option because, being high alone wouldn't help this type of pressure.

✖

I retched, holding my stomach. I sat back against the bathtub waiting for the next wave of nausea to hit. The consequences of getting drunk and high last night. I got up to grab another bottle of water, staggering down the hall. I had two extendos to hold out my last backwood and a bottle of Hennessy to numb my mind.

I returned to my space in the bathroom and sat hunched up in from of the tub. Luckily I called in sick today, I figured I'd be playing hooky but now I was really sick. My phone rang with a facetime call from Dane. Speaking of calling in sick. "Wassup?" I said.

"Damn, I thought you was playing hooky but you look sick." Dane said.

"I thought the same thing. And didn't you say you was against cussing?" I said, leaning my head on the wall.

I hit my elbow on the tub and cursed under my breath. The impact on my funny bone rang up to my pinkie finger. "Damn is technically not a curse word." Dane said.

I waved it off and groaned at the quivering in my stomach. "What happened to you?" Dane said.

"I'm finna just say I drowned my problems and more came back later. I told you what I meant by that before." I said.

"I know, I remember. But you don't seem so stressed at work." Dane said.

"Just, a lot of shit went down yesterday." I said.

I dropped my phone as I released my stomach lining into the toilet. I picked my phone back up. Dane looked like he was about to throw up himself. I drunk some of my water and leaned back against the wall. "I should tell boss you don't need to come to work for the rest of the week." Dane said.

"I wouldn't mind that." I said as my stomach bubbled again. "Fuck." I groaned.

"You--"

"Fuuuuck."

"Seandrea, are you sure you're okay?" Dane said.

I nodded.

I hadn't been able to hold down anything when I had woke up this morning. "Are you pregnant or something?" Dane said.

"Dane, didn't I just say I got drunk last night?" I said.

"Oh, yeah I forgot." He said.

"I'm hungry but I can't eat." I said.

"Just eat. I would hate for you to starve yourself." Dane said.

"Says the nigga on a diet." I said.

Dane gave me a look and hung up. I groaned and put my head back on the wall.

Gone head. Tell me what I did this time.

If you depressed and this book starting to mess with your mental emotional state then I think you should stop reading. It's only going to get worse further on.

How y'all feel about the way Dreezy walked out?

You think she shoulda felt like a asshole?

Who you think was making the Hakeem/ Seandrea situation more complicated?

Comment here if it's anything you need me to clear up for you and Imma turn that into a clarification chapter

Okay bye