The Smallest Touch

Taking the lead

Copyright 2012 Sara Schoen  

It's Halloween, my favorite holiday. My science class is decorated in spirit of it. I beat Dylan to class again, i wonder if its his favorite holiday too. He seems like he would enjoy going around and scaring people or maybe he only likes that when its me. He walks into class, and gives me a strong glare. He must not like Halloween because i'm wearing parts of a costume. He sits down and puts his head down. I look at him, it's easy to see today isn't a good day for him, so i decide not to say anything.

As we do our work one of the other guys in our class comes up to me.

"Why do you wear your costume?"

"Because I love halloween."

"So you celebrate it year round?" He walks away, laughing at his own joke. I look at my desk trying to stop the tears from falling. I'm thankful for once that my partner doesn't care, because my hair is in a ponytail and i can't hide my face. I take a quick glance at Dylan, he's not laying on the desk, he's glaring but not at me. It looks like he's glaring at the boy that insulted me, but i'm not sure. Why would he either way? No one stands up for me, or cares about me, i take care of myself especially at home with my brother.

I leave as soon as the bell rings, I never said a word to Dylan even when i saw him get on his bus to go home.

I didn't try talking to Dylan for November, he came into class a little worse and worse everyday. I didn't want to play my game if he was already feeling bad, it wasn't my goal to upset him just to prove a point. He didn't deserve me being mean when he was in pain. The question that came to mind every time i saw him was, why? Why is he so upset? or What happened? I never asked and he never told.

I stopped playing so i didn't hirt him anymore, he was content with it still never spoke to me. That is until on day in the beginning of December, I was talking to Kate at the table next to me. I leaned a little to far over and fell out of my chair onto the floor. Everyone laughed at me and i turned a shade of red. I sat on the floor for a little but, i got a glimse of Dylan, I had to do a double take. He was smiling, actually smiling. The anger was gone as well as the darkness, he was smiling and showing a different side. It was gone quickly, but that's when it made sense to me. He hates me, so my pain makes him smile. This is how you take the lead in the game, find the one thing you opponent can't resist. 

To take a strong lead you have to think ahead, break was coming and i knew Dylan would come back upset. I was starting to make some connections in my mind. For example after a long weekend he was worse then the week before. I don't know why, but it riegned true repeatedly. He took me by surprise today though, he came up to me and looked me in the eyes. Not with an angry glare or a scowl, he was calm and relaxed for once.

"Nikki, Happy Birthday." I was shocked, how did he know it was my birthday? I hadn't told him.

"Thanks Dylan." He nodded and sat down before class started. He did a kindness for me today so i thought i should do the same. I didn't know when his birthday was so my act ot kindness i made him a christmas card. I made it before lunch and put it on his desk when he left to eat. I was a nice card, i think, I didn't sign it but it was just a drawing of a tree and said merry chirstmas. I left it on his desk and went to lunch.

The card sat on his desk all day when he saw it his face said it all, he didn't like it. He rolled his eyes and put it down, I'm amazed he didnt crumple it up. I hurt my heart, i was actually trying to be nice, but he didn't accept it. It hadn't acquired to me that he may not believe in Christmas, He didn't look at me all class, he didn't look at the card either. As soon as the bell rang he got up and left, leaving the card. I closed my eyes so i wouldnt cry, I never should have tried for real! I crumpled the card and threw it away, tears streamed down my face. Dylan was beating me at my own game, i was getting attached.

It's 2008 now, the one thing i hate about the new year is writing it. I always put the wrong year, for example 1/12/07, oh wait its now '08. I walked into class, Dylan had beaten me as usual. He didn't say anything when he saw me, and i didn't either. I was getting attached, he didn't even like me and i was getting attached, becoming a friend. It wasn't what was supposed to happen, i didn't want a friend. I lost most of my friends when my elementary school got split up for middle school. Dylan was to prove a point that he couldnt scare me away like everyone else, i wasn't suppposed to be his friend.

I didn't talk to him for two months, our seats got moved so he no longer sat next to me. For those two months he made other friends and i heard him talk. It surprised me more and more to hear him talk, but never more then when he said happy birthday to me. I still don't know how he knew but it was nice to have someone say it. He sat with a group of guys now, and i sat with the boy who insulted me on Halloween. His name is James, he was aroganant and rude, he would purposely hurt my feelings and it made me miss sitting next to Dylan. He never talked, but at least then he didn't hurt my feelings either.

As winter became spring the weather started warming up. We got our seats changed again and Ms. Adams put Dylan as my new partner. She asked me last month during class if I could handle sitting with James anymore. i honestly tol her, "I'm sorry, but I can't. He's rude and insulting, please change my seat." she only said, "we'll be getting new seats in spring." I never thought she'd put me next to Dylan again. He smiled when i came into class, my name was at the seat next to him. I sat down and put my head down on my desk.

"Nikki, are you ok?" I looked up, i hadn't spoken to him in months. He seems honestly worried if i'm ok.

"Yeah, i'm fine. I just came from P.E so i'm tired."

"Just making sure."He's talking to me, i should keep the conversation going, but i'm so tired.

"How are you?" I asked

"A lot better."

"Since what?" I noticed he was wearing short sleeves today, that's a first. The shirt was still black though, but at least he wasn't sweating in the heat.

"Since before."

"Before what?"

"Before the new year." He said.

"It's the end of March."

"So? It's still the new year." I nod in agreement with what he said.

"Are you sad you can't sit with your new friends anymore?"

"What? I don't have friends."

"Yeah you do, they are the guys---" Ms. Adams interrupted me

"Nikki I wanted you to be more social but not during my class." She said.

I nodded my head and went back to work, Dylan laughed at me for getting called out. I felt myself turning red and hot, i hated getting called out in class. When the bell rang i gathered my stuff and tried to leave till i heard someone call my name.

"Nikki!" I turned around and saw Dylan. "I'm sorry about getting you in trouble."

"it's fine, no worries." I smiled and left for art.

By the time April was in full swing Dylan was different then when i met him. He got his haircut, its a crew cut now, he can't hide behind it anymore. He didn't wear long sleeves anymore, it was short sleeves every day.with jeans. He talked with people and even if he wouldn't admit it he had friends. He was different, i wonder what changed. He changed almost completly, he was taking the lead in our game. He was playing now, and he was playing to win. He's trying to become my friend and he's taking the lead. Soon, i won't even be able to catch up.